#1
Posted: 6/5/12 at 10:19pm
I haven't posted on here in years but I had an experience tonight taking my mother to see Jesus Christ Superstar (one of her all-time favorite shows) that defies logic and reason in a really uncommonly special way. So before the show, we're sitting in our seats front mezz in the center, and the woman next to me is texting furiously. This is fine, as the show has not begun, but when the lights go down and the music kicks in and she is still furiously tapping away on her phone, I don't excuse it. I gave her a 30 second grace period hoping that she was "finishing up" or "turning it off" and after that was over, I politely leaned over and asked her if she could turn her phone off.
Well, I think that in her head she heard me asking her for the blood of her firstborn or something because she started hissing at me about "Who do you think you are? You don't work here. You don't get to tell me what to do." So I shrugged and said "Fine. If you're not gonna turn it off, I'll go get an usher." And she snapped "Yeah, you go do that." So...I did. A lovely usher came over and spoke to her, she leaned around the usher and shouted "Gee thanks, bitch" at me, and the usher told her basically to shut up or leave. So she quieted down. This woman was super lovely and helpful and told me if I had any issues or wanted to be reseated, I could come find her, etc.
So, the rest of the show was copacetic and I figured all was well and maybe in the end someone had learned a lesson about cellphone etiquette. I guess that would involve having a regard for etiquette in general, and since this woman chased me across 2 lanes of traffic as I tried to cross the street and then stood ON MY FEET (!?!?) and put her hands on my shoulders, screaming "Go ahead and act tough now, bitch! You think you're tough? Come at me now, I bet I could kick your ass, you wanna try me!" ... Um. What? For visual purposes, I am about 5'6" and fairly slim, and she was about 3 inches shorter than me and at least twice my weight. I tried to explain to her that there were signs in the theatre, she wasn't allowed, and she needs to stop getting up my ****ing ass because she's mad that she couldn't text during a Broadway show, but she like isn't letting me get a word in edgewise and keeps shouting at me. Finally, a rent-a-cop in a golf cart meanders by, I flag him down, and she takes off running. He went to go find it and came back to get a full description from me and took my number, since apparently that counts as assault! Hooray!
And all of this immediately after a show that projects bible verses on a giant projection screen. Sigh. My god, why have you forgotten me?
Well, I think that in her head she heard me asking her for the blood of her firstborn or something because she started hissing at me about "Who do you think you are? You don't work here. You don't get to tell me what to do." So I shrugged and said "Fine. If you're not gonna turn it off, I'll go get an usher." And she snapped "Yeah, you go do that." So...I did. A lovely usher came over and spoke to her, she leaned around the usher and shouted "Gee thanks, bitch" at me, and the usher told her basically to shut up or leave. So she quieted down. This woman was super lovely and helpful and told me if I had any issues or wanted to be reseated, I could come find her, etc.
So, the rest of the show was copacetic and I figured all was well and maybe in the end someone had learned a lesson about cellphone etiquette. I guess that would involve having a regard for etiquette in general, and since this woman chased me across 2 lanes of traffic as I tried to cross the street and then stood ON MY FEET (!?!?) and put her hands on my shoulders, screaming "Go ahead and act tough now, bitch! You think you're tough? Come at me now, I bet I could kick your ass, you wanna try me!" ... Um. What? For visual purposes, I am about 5'6" and fairly slim, and she was about 3 inches shorter than me and at least twice my weight. I tried to explain to her that there were signs in the theatre, she wasn't allowed, and she needs to stop getting up my ****ing ass because she's mad that she couldn't text during a Broadway show, but she like isn't letting me get a word in edgewise and keeps shouting at me. Finally, a rent-a-cop in a golf cart meanders by, I flag him down, and she takes off running. He went to go find it and came back to get a full description from me and took my number, since apparently that counts as assault! Hooray!
And all of this immediately after a show that projects bible verses on a giant projection screen. Sigh. My god, why have you forgotten me?
"Get mad, then get over it." - Colin Powell
