when "fondly" is subsituted for "love"

[Auggie27]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 10:41am

A nit-picky seasonal gripe, but does anyone else find the (over)use of "fondly" -- noticable at this time of year, when cards are exchanged -- a kind of withholding? I understand etiquette, and even boundary issues, i.e. that people can justifiably be uncomfortable tossing "love" around among casual acquaintances, or business associates. Offering "love" in the workplace is loaded. But it's always startling to receive cards from people known for years that tag on "fondly."

Are we such a gushy, overly affectionate world that we must parse our love? This sign-off can have a strange keeping-us-at-arms-length impact. As if there's a hierarchy of expressed feelings, and only the nearest and dearest dare offer love.

I guess it goes back to the 60s. Somehow, "What the world needs now is fondness sweet fondness" just feels hollow.

[son_of_a_gunn_25]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 10:50am

Updated On: 12/23/09 at 10:50 AM

[best12bars]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 10:59am

I don't mind it at all.

Some people reserve using the word "love" for a select few people. It has a much deeper meaning than "fondly." Yet, they still want to show their affection for people.

And it has more emotion behind it than "Sincerely."

And "Yours" is too much (and always sounds like your being "kept").

I personally use "love." It's a good, strong word, and I'm an emotional guy. If people think it means I'm "in love" with them, well... that's their problem, I guess.

[JustAGuy]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 10:59am

I think the word "love" is tossed around too much and that its meaning has been diminished. I would rather receive a card with the words "fondly", and know that they mean it, rather than with the cursory "love" that is used to describe anything from how much you enjoyed someone's performance, to the type of bottled water you drink.

Updated On: 12/22/07 at 10:59 AM

[Jane2]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 11:08am

I don't have a problem with" fondly." To me, it has a different meaning than "love." There are people I truly love, but more that I am fond of.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 11:08am

I vote for "fondly." Fond is a lovely word that should be used more, not less.

I am almost as fond of fond as I am of you, Auggie.

[Glebb]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 11:11am

When AndyHardy and I were flying from Copenhagen to Arhus, the Danish flight attendant told us that the Captain was not fond of our boombox not being under the seat in front of us.

[artscallion]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 11:17am

I've completely eliminated "sincerely" from my correspondence. I've never used "fondly" I don't remember recieving any "fondly"s either. I use, "regards" or "warmest regards" and other appropriate variations. I use "love" for those I actually love, not in the general, "I love all mankind" kind of way.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 12:34pm

exactly, there are those we are fond of, and those we love......I have no problem with fondly....
although Auggie, I fondly tell you that I love how you brought up this issue! ;oP

[Auggie27]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 12:54pm

PJ, I was just thinking of your friend Marianne Williamson, one of her luminous quotes: "The challenge is not to believe in love, everybody believes in love, but to believe in love only..." That word "only" gives the sentiment a potent philosophical slant, as Ghandi might opine. She uses it in a decidedly different context, but perhaps it's still in keeping with the spirit of this thread. Of course, the irony isn't lost on me -- to complain about any expression of affection isn't all that loving, huh?

[blueroses]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 1:02pm

Joey! I thought you signed everything "Yer pal,..."

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 1:08pm

You can't be sued for harassment with the word 'fondly'.

[best12bars]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 1:18pm

What if you said, "I'm in a fondly mood today, little boy."



After more thought, I've decided... I prefer fondue.

Updated On: 12/22/07 at 01:18 PM

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 4:03pm

i wrote out all our holiday cards this year (non-denominational ones i might add that could be taken as direct assaults on christmas itself) and signed most of them "love." i used best wishes to some co-workers and the bosses, but i love my friends and i love my family and i even love some of our acquaintances. hell, i even love auggie.

Updated On: 12/22/07 at 04:03 PM

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 4:11pm

I just use MOIST! It just seems to say it all.

[iHeartMyGeek]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 4:13pm

Eh, I love everyone. Bring on the affection.

Then again, my generation is seen as generally a bit touchy-feely, I suppose.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 4:13pm

and easy.

[iHeartMyGeek]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 4:19pm

Psssh, I wish.

[Auggie27]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 7:10pm

My creation of this thread reveals my inner Neeley O'Hara. I just came home from SWEENEY TODD, collected my mail, only to discover 2 "fondly's" and one piece of bonafide love--from a beloved poster, yet. There is a Santa Claus.

[wexy]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 8:48pm

I think sometimes "love" can scare some off in the initial state of pursuit. "Fondly" expresses your fondness without using the "L" word.
I use the love word in a Christmas to the woman with whom I go out with occasionally who has no clue what the (substituting another word for one which will have the mods mad) heck she wants or what exactly her feelings are for me.

Updated On: 12/22/07 at 08:48 PM

[Dollypop]

Posted: 12/22/07 at 9:12pm

I think it's very appropriate for some people to use the word "fondly". Some relationships haven't reached the "love" stage and "fondly" is appropriate. I have major problems with someone who insists on signing everything "warmly" and he really isn't a very warm person.

[Auggie27]

Posted: 12/23/07 at 3:54pm

I got a few "warm regards" on letters and even email. If I got that on a card, I'd question why the sender sends them. A bit formal and chilly, as Dolly opines.

I reviewed my cards for this year last night -- fewer than ever, with stamps 41 cents -- and actually liked the cards that skipped such sentiments entirely. "Merry Christmas!" can actually be warmer and cheerier than parsed feelings. But I'm overstating my case here.

Many thanks for the thoughtful folk who weighted in. I'd love to fondle you all.

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 12/23/07 at 4:04pm

i usually sign with "love"
what can i say... i love love.

my favorite one is what my boss from aids project hartford puts at the bottoms of his letters...
they all say "positively yours"
i like it because it's just his... it's like no one else can use that :)

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 12/23/07 at 5:30pm

There's nothing inherently wrong with the word fondly, but for some reason it has always been a "soap opera" word to me. Another World, specifically. Can't say why, except they must have been fond of using it, since the impression lingers when I haven't watched a soap in probably 25 years.

It always feels like someone wants to make sure you don't overestimate how much they like you...

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 12/23/07 at 5:41pm

I kind of agree with justaguy. To me it takes some thought to write "fondly" as opposed to the knee-jerk "love."
But hey, I am happy to get ANY correspondence, so what do I know?