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Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

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#1

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/19/17 at 3:40pm

from Facebook Onstage Blog. Printed by Nick Hern Books

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? "Three. One to do it and two more to discuss how they would have done it better.

How many directors does it take to change a light bulb? "Interesting, why does it want to change? What is its motivation?"

How many playwrights does it take to change a light bulb? "I'm not changing anything!"

How many producers does it take to change a light bulb? "Why do we need another light bulb?"

How many theatre publishers does it take to change a light bulb? "We just tell you how someone else did it earlier."

How many stage managers does it....? "Done!."

"Noel [Coward] and I were in Paris once. Adjoining rooms, of course. One night, I felt mischievous, so I knocked on Noel's door, and he asked, 'Who is it?' I lowered my voice and said 'Hotel detective. Have you got a gentleman in your room?' He answered, 'Just a minute, I'll ask him.'" (Beatrice Lillie)
#2

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/19/17 at 8:43pm

I find these stereotypical and patronizing.

#3

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/19/17 at 8:58pm

But remember that Lincoln Center play from 1980-81 called "The Floating Light Bulb"? Someone named Brian Backer won a Tony, and it also starred Bea Arthur (!) and Jack Weston.

As far as I know, it was never produced again.

Sorry; the lightbulb jokes set me thinking of it.



#4

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/19/17 at 9:06pm

Stage Managers don't change light bulbs.

#5

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/19/17 at 10:33pm

How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four, one to get on the ladder and three to stand around and say "See, I told you that's too high for her."

#6

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/19/17 at 10:40pm

Well I, for one, find these very clever. I thought I had heard all the theatre-related light-bulb jokes, but a few of these are new to me. Here's an alternate actor one:

Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Only one: the actor just stands still holding the lightbulb, and the world revolves around them.



#7

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/19/17 at 11:01pm

I like the stage manager's response, though they would say, "DON'T TOUCH IT UNTIL THE LIGHTING DESIGNER GETS HERE."

#8

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/19/17 at 11:11pm

When I saw this article, I had no idea theatre light bulb jokes existed. I saw the humor in it.

"Noel [Coward] and I were in Paris once. Adjoining rooms, of course. One night, I felt mischievous, so I knocked on Noel's door, and he asked, 'Who is it?' I lowered my voice and said 'Hotel detective. Have you got a gentleman in your room?' He answered, 'Just a minute, I'll ask him.'" (Beatrice Lillie)
#9

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/21/17 at 8:23am

As long as we're talking about theatre jokes, I made up a list of "Operatic Starbucks" gags on my blog back in 2015...

Link

https://newplayexchange.org/users/99643/amanda-delalla
#10

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/21/17 at 8:24am

TheGingerBreadMan said: "I find these stereotypical and patronizing.



"

Lighten up.

#11

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/21/17 at 9:08am

^Really. Stop looking to find offense.



These kind if jokes only work when dealing with a stereotype.

If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it? These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.
#12

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/21/17 at 9:08am

I laughed at the producers one. And when I read it, I put soooo much emphasis on the "need"

My father (AIDS) My sister (AIDS) My uncle and my cousin and her best friend (AIDS, AIDS, AIDS) The gays and the straights And the white and the spades
#13

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/21/17 at 9:18am

We live in a world where people's chances and opportunities are hindered or obliterated every single day due to stereotypes and assumptions that are made about them before they even have a chance to show who they are. While these jokes do not necessarily persecute any specific group of people to the extent that has become a problem in our society, I hate the very principle of stereotyping and dislike anything to do with it. I'm not trying to stop you from laughing and having fun, only pointing out that jokes like this stem from the same ideology that essentially ruins lives.

Say that I'm uptight or don't have a sense of humor, that's fine. I don't find stereotype jokes funny.

#14

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/21/17 at 9:27am

I just can't.

If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it? These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.
#15

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/21/17 at 8:03pm

TheGingerBreadMan said: "We live in a world where people's chances and opportunities are hindered or obliterated every single day due to stereotypes and assumptions that are made about them before they even have a chance to show who they are. While these jokes do not necessarily persecute any specific group of people to the extent that has become a problem in our society, I hate the very principle of stereotyping and dislike anything to do with it. I'm not trying to stop you from laughing and having fun, only pointing out that jokes like this stem from the same ideology that essentially ruins lives.

Say that I'm uptight or don't have a sense of humor, that's fine. I don't find stereotype jokes funny.

Gee I bet you're fun at parties!

#16

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/21/17 at 8:42pm

My Stage manager version went-

How many stage managers does it take to change alight bulb?

"I don't CARE- just DO IT!"

#17

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/21/17 at 9:20pm

How many divas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? "I can't deal with this now, I'm in TECH!"

#18

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/22/17 at 12:32am

My all-time favorite:

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One - and about five hundred others to watch and say, "That should be me up there."

#19

Theatre Light Bulb Jokes

Posted: 8/22/17 at 5:13am

I'm sure there are more theatre related jokes out there. Please share.

"Noel [Coward] and I were in Paris once. Adjoining rooms, of course. One night, I felt mischievous, so I knocked on Noel's door, and he asked, 'Who is it?' I lowered my voice and said 'Hotel detective. Have you got a gentleman in your room?' He answered, 'Just a minute, I'll ask him.'" (Beatrice Lillie)

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