Why help a kid get into AMDA when you can pay for Jamie McGonnigal’s wedding? — Page 3

I thought about this "appeal" while I was out on my walk in Central Park a little earlier. I haven't changed my opinion that it's shameful as Addy and many of you say. I concluded that it is also sad as to what it says about how these two men, or couple, I should say approach life's uncertainties. This act alone doesn't bode well for the relationship. Here are two grown men creating an appeal to pay for a wedding they can't afford to fund on their own. A change in their life together that they have chosen to make. What in the hell are they going to do when life throws some unexpected real challenges their way? It doesn't look hopeful.

I was gonna say a lot of anime voice over work doesn't pay too much--I knew someone who did a lot (for some reason a lot is done on Van)--because they go direct to DVD, etc--but he mentioned specifically Pokemon and YuGiOh which were huge on TV, so umm, yeah

" I think kickstarter, etc. are generally good things, enabling projects that wouldn't easily get off the ground and creating interest in them at the same time. But then, we've got people deciding they want something for themselves and spinning it so it doesn't seem entirely like a cash grab. "

Exactly. It's one thing to ask for donations to fund, say, a film you're making and those funding it will get to *see*--particularly if you already have a fanbase from free videos, etc. This is entirely different (and it's not a medical emergency or something else).

I assume all these people aren't using Kickstarter because, correct me if I'm wrong, the way Kickstarter works is if you don't raise the complete amount you wanted (or more) within a certain timeframe you get no money, and all those people don't have to pay--which works well say if you wanna see some fanmade Twilight film for some reason and donated 50 bucks and they need 5000. You didn't waste that 50 bucks, in theory, because if they don't make it you don't pay it. This site and the one that college request guy are using, on the other hand, takes the money anyway.

I heard a podcast with one of the Pokemon voice actors who said she could never afford to quit temping or waiting tables while she worked on the show because the paychecks were pretty small. She said that when the Pokemon movie made something like $80 million, one of her bosses asked her, "Why are you still working here?" Seems kind of bizarre--you're working on a huge show and you're working 2 other jobs to pay the bills. (total tangent)

I totally agree that kickstarter's gotten out of hand with cash grabs. Weddings have that air about them to begin with--people give gifts and checks to help the couple out, but going public like that seems like a bit much.

Updated On: 12/5/12 at 07:02 PM

I really can't decide which campaign shows more chutzpah.

Here's a word of advice: IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD SOMETHING YOU DON'T GET IT. How is this such a difficult concept to grasp?

I've been disgusted with this organized begging since I first heard about it.

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I bet by their logic seeking money from strangers and at best friends of friends is a lot less shameful than asking friends for some help, never mind saving up themselves or rethink the wedding that fits their budget.

And screw them for bringing up their single moms. My single mom grandma paid for four weddings of her children in her life without using the world wide web.

I see it more like certain left wingers approving the spread of the wealth from those who have to those who don't.

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I had assumed that donors would be going to the wedding. I mean, what good is a "shout out" (in another world it would be called a listing) in a program if the person shouted out is not at the gathering to read the shout? But maybe that was a dumb assumption, given the swiftly evolving etiquette that must be having a hard time keeping up with all these new social interaction models.

Still, I wonder: If guests attend the wedding and have given money already, do they need to bring gifts? Will there be an accounting of how the money was spent? How will all this donating and spending impact the political and relational undertones of Jamie 'n' Sean's Very Special Modest $10K Day [(c) 2012, FindingNamo] to know that it was financed by everybody under the sun but the two who appear to be throwing the party? I have done work in non-profits for most of my adult life and I know how resentful funders get when things look a little too nice or lavish for their tastes. (They get snippy.) Does the requested amount cover location scouting costs on the Cape, etc?

I know when traditional brides are left at the altar, it is customary to return gifts, but what about this money, since technically the fellas could say this is a pre-wedding donation and not a wedding gift? Not that I am saying this will happen, g-d forbid, poo poo poo. It's all too new, this brave new world.

And I agree with Jose's point, if a couple asks for this much help just for the wedding, have they officially asked all the favors they can ever ask anybody for ever, ever again? Will they feel an ethical obligation to help out those who generously donate for the rest of their lives, such as dog sitting, helping people move, and whatnot. What if somebody who donates then decides to crowd source an indie movie and needs Jamie to narrate? Will he get scale or will he be doing pro bono payback til the end of time.

Speaking of which, and this is the big elephant in the room, what if g-d forbid, a divorce happens, poo poo poo? Aren't divorces way more expensive than the 35 dollar marriage license fee?

I believe healthy relationships thrive in a supportive community where people pitch in and lend a hand or an ear or a cup of coffee. Will people in the donating community feel they have done their bit and never want to be called upon again?

Like Jose, I did a lot of thinking about this after my work day finished. And I was left with more questions than answers. It was a long subway ride home.

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Updated On: 12/5/12 at 11:28 PM

OMG you guys--who's paying for the RINGS?!?

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My sister had a really nice wedding at a lovely banquet hall with lots of food, booze and all the bells and whistles for 200 people and it came in way under 10k. What the hell?

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I'm sorry to keep posting but I keep getting more enraged. I'd actually be ok if they were taking a collection stating that they would create a celebration based on what they make in donations, as opposed to asking others to specifically fund their wedding on CAPE effing COD!

I hate when people asking for assistance are picky. I also find this whole section just rich:

"Forget everything you know about extravagant weddings. That's not Jamie and me. We're looking to have a modest ceremony and party near where Jamie's mother lives in Cape Cod. Here's what we're thinking:
•Fees for venue, catering and anything our awesome friends aren't helping us create or make at home.
•Travel to and from Massachusetts
•A place to stay"

1.) Last time I checked Cape Cod is pretty expensive and considered a dream destination for weddings that many couples cant afford.
2.) You want a free place to stay but your guests (who already chipped in) will have to fend for themselves at an expensive B & Bs on the Cape.
3.) Isn't your mother's place in Cape Cod free for you fellas to crash at-or is that too tacky?
4.)So your awesome friends are "making and creating" many things for your wedding, but you also want them to pay for it????
5.) WTF are these bozos paying for themselves. Looks like nothing.

Looks like they learned poor money habits from their single moms. Live within your means.

These guys really make me ill. Im happy they found a suitable cheap and crass partner for each other. I bet these are the kind of guys who bring a bottle of wine to a party and take it back if it isn't opened.

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I bet these are the kind of guys who bring a bottle of wine to a party and take it back if it isn't opened.

Or even half-full?

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As a gay man who also runs a not-for-profit, GAG. ME. I wouldn't donate a penny.

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