Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members — Page 78

I worked passing out flyers for a bit this year, so I had a few fun ones:

Lady: Why isn't Cats up there?

TKTS person: This line is for straight plays only. If you want to see a show with singing, get in the other line.
Lady #1: What about Mamma Mia?
TKTS person: Other line.
Lady #2: What about Phantom of the Opera?
TKTS person: Seriously?


(Not really an overheard, because I'm involved, but it's stupid. I was passing out flyers for Thurgood near the Broadhurst when Cat On A Hot Tin Roof was running)
White Woman (not seeing my flyers): Don't you think that theatre's going downhill?
Me: What do you mean?
White Woman: Well, with all of these n-word shows. It's getting so trashy, no wonder theatres dying.
Me: Thurgood, a new one man show about the first black Supreme Court Justice, who fought bigotry and stupidity.

I was passing out flyers for Macbeth one day.
Guy #1: I've heard of Macbeth. Isn't that a magic show?
Guy #2: I think so.

At Wicked in LA after the show was over when we were all walking out.

a tourist woman turned to a guy and asked: Why was the woman green?
Guy: She was born that way.
Tourist Woman: is that why she's wicked?

This morning I was going down the escalators in the Marriott Marquis and a girl was on her phone behind me, I guess talking about what she had gotten tickets to with whoever was seeing this show with her.

Girl: No, it's Spamalot. *pause* Zillions of people want to see it. *pause* It's THE hot play right now.

And I had to control my laughter. And desire to turn around and say "Yeah...it's so hot they're RE-stunt casting Clay Aiken." Zillions of people want to see it indeed.

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From overheard in New York:

Gay guy: Ugh, I can't stand these small theaters. They're so cramped and sweaty, and the seats are too small.

Girl: Whatever, you're just being a snob.

Gay guy: Yeah well, maybe I've just paid my dues long enough in this city to feel above this scene. I don't think...

Girl (interrupts): Oh my god, Mandy Moore just walked in.

Gay guy (gasps and whips around): Mandy Moore?! Where?!

--Cherry Lane Theater

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My favorite moment happened at the stage door for Gypsy a few weeks ago. A girl, maybe twelve years old was standing alongside the barrier and asks the guy in front of her if he'd take a picture of her with Patti LuPone when she came out. The guy was like, um, Patti doesn't take pictures with a fan (which is actually untrue - when I was there on Wednesday, she took a picture with a woman who flew over from Korea I believe), and the girl goes... I GOT A PICTURE WITH LAURA BELL BUNDY! AND PATTI LUPONE WON'T TAKE PICTURES. Everyone within hearing distance muffled their laughter and the guy said, sweetheart, Patti Lupone has thirty years on Laura Bell. They aren't even close to the same league. The girl just rolled her eyes.

Last week at the Gypsy stage door, when Patti LuPone signed a middle aged woman's Playbill, the woman said "I've always wanted to see you live. You were great Ms. LaBelle". Patti just looked at her and said "My name is Patti LuPone."

"I hate when people think that only the longest running shows in history are the ones that were written the best.

If that was the case, then Sweeney Todd shouldn't be a masterpiece.

(Even though it most certainly is!)"

Preach it!!!!!! I was once one of those people.

But now I've been saved!

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"Last week at the Gypsy stage door, when Patti LuPone signed a middle aged woman's Playbill, the woman said "I've always wanted to see you live. You were great Ms. LaBelle". Patti just looked at her and said "My name is Patti LuPone." "

That is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. I would be on the floor laughing. LOL. "My name is Patti LuPone." haha i love her.

Not on Broadway, but from Wicked in Chicago yesterday:

Girl 1: What's replacing this when it closes?
Girl 2: I don't know..wait.. Mamma Mia.
Girl 1: The movie?
Girl 2: No wait, Les Mis!
Girl 1: really?
Girl 2: Of course. I heard from a friend.
----
Man: Wait, so it's closing?
Woman: Yep.
Man: So they have to tear the whole theatre down? That's a waste.
So is the show gonna be like closed, no more, ever? That's it?
Woman: It'll probably go to Vegas or something.
Man: Oh yeah, shows always do that.
---
Woman: Woah, is that dragon part of the set?
Husband: No, it's not. It's part of the theatre. That's why it's called the Oriental theatre.
Woman: I think it's in the set..big-a** dragon just sitting there.
Me: It's actually in the show.
Husband: Don't lie to the girl. I've seen the show twice.
...Show starts.
Woman: [during NOMTW] HAAAAAAA! *slaps husband gently*

At Wicked.

Ditzy Girl: is the green like...makeup or something? you don't think they dyed her skin like Michael Jackson, do you????
Friend:...please tell me you didn't just say that.

I heard the following at RENT tonight:

Husband: Will Chase...it says he was in Law and Order.
Wife: Yea, he was one of the leads on the show.
Me: SPEECHLESS

The same two people...

Woman: Did you see the movie?
Man: It was so much better!! They were able to go to different areas. They had fire during the song RENT!! And they cut all of the bad songs.



This happened years ago when I was no older than 16 and looked no older than about 18.
I was sitting in my seat silently mouthing the words along with the actors so as not to bother anyone by singing. The lady sitting next to me turned to me at intermission and said, "You knew every single word!!! What's your name? When were you in the show? What part did you play?" I told her my name, which is Brett. Despitre the fact that my name is Brett, I am actually a female. I then told the lady I played both Mark and Roger. She said, "One of them must be the drag queen then."

I have no patience for people like that.

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haha tony vincet great choice of quote. And I agree that too makes me sad.

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