Lyrics or lines that made you cringe! — Page 7

i think lots of Miss Saigon's lyrics depends on the performer's ability to make them work. lots of them in "The Heat is on in Saigon" make you go "what the hell?" but the really good songs like "I Still Believe" and "I Would Give My Life For You" kinda make you forget about some of the crappy lyrics.

I also agree that Colm Wilkinson is an aquired taste. I love him now but it took me a long time to get used to his unique sound.

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I hate that line with a passion.
I seem to be hating a lot of things with a passion lately.
Oh well.

I actually like Wicked but the Confess-a-reason-why line does hurt me every time I see or hear the show. It just drives me nuts.

There's also a line in Caroline or Change which I find particularly awful in which the father compares himself to Tibet. I mean, there isn't any part of that show that I liked but that line was the worst.

I don't like the score to Rent at all either so there's not one particular line I could pick out as disliking.

Ohhh, I love Colm, although I would also agree that his voice can take some getting used to, he is fun to listen to.

Oh! I have another line, in Jesus Christ Superstar when Judas calls Jesus a "mandarin" it just makes me laugh because I don't think I could ever say that seriously.

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I agree wholeheartedly with Jo Jo Mandingo. In the Wizard of Oz, they made up words to fit the rhyming scheme: "I'd unravel every riddle, for every individdle."

I think Stephen Schwartz is quite clever, and I rather like Wicked.

This part from Rent makes me cringe:

"To sodomy, it's between God and me," what on earth?! And I think this part from The Music Man is just silly: "Maaaaaaaaarion--Madame Libraaaaaaaarion" And in Wonderful Town: "You're a silly girl, (something) youth" "You're a silly boy, you're in love with Ruth!!"

Updated On: 7/18/04 at 08:58 PM

I hate any time someone tries to rhyme "again" with something like "main" or "lane". It doesn't work and yet they force it and the performer never pronounces it as aGAIN so why bother??? It's so annoying....

Once again, I must post about the Human Comedy. Here are a few gems from this show.

TOWNSPEOPLE
In a little town in America
Lived the people of which we sing!
A little town in Cal-i-forn-i-a
Not famous for anything.
Not famous for anything!

Just a little place named Ithaca
With a railroad passing through
Though only once a day it passes there
Maybe you passed through too
Maybe you passed through too
And didn't notice!
Maybe you passed through too
And didn't notice

A little town in California
Where live the people of which we sing
A little town in America
Not famous for anything
Not famous for an
Not famous for an
Not famous for an-y-thing!

Ulysses reaches the crossing just in time
To see the passing of the train
Ulysses feels the passing is mighty fine
And mighty stimulating for the brain

So he waves at the people as they pass by
But none of them wave back!
Then when the train is almost done
There's one of them waves...just one!

BLACK MAN
Hi ya kid!

ULYSSES
Hi ya mister!

BLACK MAN
Hi ya kid!

ULYSSES
Hi ya mister!
Where you going?
Where you going?

BLACK MAN
Me, I'm headin' home.

ULYSSES
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Are you coming home to us?

BLACK
So long, kid.
So long, kid.
Me, I'm headin' home.

ULYSSES
Don't go, mister.
Home is here.
Mama said so.
So why did you go?
Why did you go?

The black man waved, ma!
He waved at me!
But if was going home
Why did he keep going?
Why didn't he come here?
Ain't this home right here, ma?
Ain't this home?

TOWNSPEOPLE
He didn't think that the man would see
When he waved at him!
Cause nobody else ever waved back
But he was the only one that was black!
And the black man waved at him, oh yes!
The black man waved at him.

"Where ya headed?" He yelled outloud
But he didn't think the man would hear
But he was the only one that was black
And the black man sang out loud and clear
The black man sang out clear

BLACK MAN
Hi ya kid!
Hi ya kid!
Me, I'm headin' home.
I'm headin' home
Never ever more to roam
Me, I'm headin' home!

* * * * * * *

HELEN
(after singing about how the Hitites got their noses...)
That's the end of the chapter, Miss Hicks.
The chapter is now completed.

MISS HICKS
Very well, Helen.
Thank you for reading.
Now you're completed.
Please be seated.

Now class!
Please tell me what you have learned
From this passage of prose!

HOMER
That people all over the world have a nose.

MISS HICKS
And...

CLASSMATES
Ooooh, you're in trouble, haha!

HOMER
You can talk through noses!
You can roar through noses!
And what's more through noses,
You can snore through noses!
You can cry through noses!
You can poke through noses!
And some folk supposes
You can joke through noses.

(Classmates repeat the above while dancing on desks)

HOMER
For a nose is a thing
Through which you can sing
Through it
You can tell
What it is you smell
Through it
With a nose, you can sniff
In your handkerchief
Everything, as well
As what you can smell!

ALL
Mary Jane and Jack and Jean and Hazel
Have a special thing in common:
A resonance that is nasal!

* * * * * * *

MR GRANGER
You wanna slow down a little son?
Do you like coconut cream?

HOMER
Do I?

MR GRANGER
I asked you first!

HOMER
I like biscuits and chocolates
Don't ask me why
But I like nothing better
Than coconut cream pie
Yes, I like pastries and crumpets
And that's no lie
But I like nothing better
Than coconut cream pie

MR GRANGER
When it comes to jam
I'm your man!
And I scream for ice cream
And apricot flaun!

HOMER
For marshmallows and popcorn
I'd surely die
But I like nothing better
Than coconut cream pie

MR GRANGER
I too am fond of coconut cream
...and music.

* * * * * * *

Homer delivers a telegram to a Spanish woman. Her son has died in the war.

HOMER
Your son was killed in action.
Killed in action.

SPANISH WOMAN
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh, mi Juanito!
Mi muchachito!
Ay yi yi yi yi yi
Mi Juanito!

CHORUS
Your son was killed in action!
Killed in action!
For he was killed in action!

SPANISH WOMAN
Oh no!
Oh no!
No!

* * * * * * *

MR GRANGER
HA ha haha!! WOO!
I think the kid'll do!

SPANGLER
I think he'll do just fine!

MR GRANGER
He can shoot the breeze.

SPANGLER
He can shoot a line.

MR GRANGER
I think the kid'll measure up
Though he's hardly older than a pup!

SPANGLER
Well, he's a good boy
At least I think he is

MR GRANGER
Comes from a good family
As far as I can see

SPANGLER
He's a good boy

MR GRANGER
Brother in the army corps
From Santa Clara Avenue
Sister goes to college, too
And his mother in the summer
Works hard as any window woman can
In the packing houses, hard as any man

SPANGLER
Well, he's a good boy

MR GRANGER
Though he's underage!
Is that so bad?
I myself am overage! HA!
Why sure, well he's a very good lad.

BOTH
He's a good boy!
I'd say I'm sure he is!
'Bout to endure, he is!
He's a good boy!
He's a hobble-dee-hoy
But that doesn't annoy
He's a good, good boy

* * * * * * *

MARY ARENA
It doesn't seem right to go to school
When Marcus is in the army
When the whole world is gouging each other's eyes out
And acting generally barmy
I sometimes wish I were a man
And could be in the army with Marcus
We'd have such fun where ever we'd go
Where ever the army would park us!

I wish I were a man
I'd get out there and fight!
I'd all the things
To set the world aright!

I wish I were a man
Then I would be so brave
I'd knock their heads together
And make them all behave!

Being just a girl
There's nothing left for me
Than to cram my head with knowledge
In college!

But I wish I were a man
A nephew, not a niece
Of dear old Uncle Sam
And then I'd show them all what for
And quickly end this silly war
And make the peace
And make the peace
And make the peace
And make the peace!

ENSEMBLE
Make the peace!
And make the peace!
And make the peace!
And make the peace!

BalletGirl i couldnt even read all of that it was so terrible!

Really? I loved Miss Saigon.

I don't think the staging was that bad, but I would love to see another production of it. With the flashbacks, alternating between Vietnam and Atlanta, even having them simultaneously playing, etc., it's a hard musical to stage.

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Not one to usually join in on the Wicked bashing, I'm just surprised that no one has mentioned the lack of rhyming in defying gravity
"And no one in all of Oz/No Wizard that there is or was."
Unless you're speaking ebonics and saying Woz, the line simply doesn't rhyme.

Someone mentioned Dance of the Vampires earlier... Jim Steinman ignores meter.... "I've been looking for an original sin." no matter how you sing it, there's still an extra syllable in the line.

referring to the "garlic" song... if the poor chorus person dancing around in a large garlic costume wasn't enough to make you slap your forehead.. the lyrics were...

Garlic Garlic the secret to staying young/ Garlic Garlic it's why we're so well hung/ Our bodies getting stronger/our schlongs are getting longer.

Hope they let me post that one.

In Rent the "playing spiderman" is in reference to them hoisting "a line to the fire escape and tying off at that bench."

And someone already mentioned my favorite worst lyric of all time, brought to us by Bricusse, but is so bad it deserves to be re-posted as a reminder of what not to write (not wright) when being a lyricist
Give me this moment/this momentous moment

and finally, I use the word tandem... words are not the enemy people...

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I agree with everything you said Jo Jo. People forget that "The Wizard of Oz" made words up too...watch the Cowardly Lion's solo "King of the Jungle" again, that whole song is made up of made up words.

It's a running gag of the people of Oz.

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Sorry Jonathan Larson, but the entire song of "The Right Brain" in the NYTW. I cant listen to it.

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Right Brain and Female to Female from NYTW.
Most of the Titanic book.

And Something Bad from Wicked. And anytime in Wicked (or at least the recording) when someone says, "Oh, Miss Elphaba." And "Look at her, she's wicked- GET HER!" (Defying Gravity), "Like some terrible green lizard, throughout the land she flies" (Thank Goodness), and Idina's line at the end of As Long As You're Mine.

*shudders*

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Updated On: 11/15/04 at 09:36 PM

Gah, forgot about that whole backstory thing during No One... bad, bad, bad. Nanny, the father, and the mother just sound horrible and just that whole build-up to the word "GREEN!" makes me laugh.

ETA: Also have to comment on Idina's "Her fever's breaking..." *shudders* And one of Roger's lines...I don't remember which, but it's in Act 1.

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Updated On: 11/15/04 at 09:47 PM