What is the worst review you can give a show? — Page 3

#51

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 4:29pm

I would give anything to get the last 2 1/2 hours of my life back

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"I wish the stage were as narrow as the wire of a tightrope dancer, so that no incompetent would dare step upon it." Goethe

#52

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 4:32pm

I couldn't wait for fantine to die.
Sorry i had to go there!

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Other than that, did you enjoy the play Mrs Lincoln?

#53

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 4:47pm

Walking out of The Pirate Queen, I heard someone say, "I hope the actors can get out of their contracts."

My comments after seeing it were: "God, I just want to take a nap."

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You promised me poems. ~Tricky

#54

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 5:00pm

The one that genius2 gave for the post they started---> Saw "Dreamgirls" Last Night

#55

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 5:12pm

A classic never dies.

(reviewing Katharine Hepburn in The Lake): "Go to the Martin Beck and see K.H. run the gamut-t-t of emotion from A to B." - Dorothy Parker

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"The gods who nurse this universe think little of mortals' cares. They sit in crowds on exclusive clouds and laugh at our love affairs. I might have had a real romance if they'd given me a chance. I loved him, but he didn't love me. I wanted him, but he didn't want me. Then the gods had a spree and indulged in another whim. Now he loves me, but I don't love him." - Cole Porter

Updated On: 11/16/06 at 05:12 PM

#56

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 5:13pm

My favorites that I use over and over:

"The book writers should be shot."

"Unfortunately, it wasn't up to the actors standards."

#57

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 5:27pm

I could have used those precious 2 1/2 hours of my life to have a root canal.

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Hi there.

#58

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 5:42pm

I recall about 10 years ago Keanu Reevs played Hamlet in Winnipeg and the reviewer at the time said: "Mr Reeves rememberd all of his lines and delivered them in the correct order."

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Cast albums are NOT "soundtracks."
Live theatre does not use a "soundtrack." If it did, it wouldn't be live theatre!

I host a weekly one-hour radio program featuring cast album selections as well as songs by cabaret, jazz and theatre artists. The program, FRONT ROW CENTRE is heard Sundays 9 to 10 am and also Saturdays from 8 to 9 am (eastern times) on www.proudfm.com

#59

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 6:13pm

'i bet muscle23 will LOVE this!'

just teasin'!!!!

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johnraymondbarker.com

#60

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 6:41pm

The worst nap I've ever had. It was too noisy in there to sleep.

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http://www.beintheheights.com/katnicole1 (Please click and help me win!) I chose, and my world was shaken- So what?
The choice may have been mistaken, The choosing was not... "Every day has the potential to be the greatest day of your life." - Lin-Manuel Miranda "And when Idina Menzel is singing, I'm always slightly worried that her teeth are going to jump out of her mouth and chase me." - Schmerg_the_Impaler

#61

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 10:18pm

"Stephen King's horror movie has been turned into a horror of a Broadway musical. The only thing scary about Carrie is that there's a second act."

"Debbie Allen is responsible for Carrie's choreography, which contains a lot of pelvic thrusts, and outtakes from a Jane Fonda video. The set...looks like a hospital kitchen."

#62

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/16/06 at 10:32pm

this one will always be burned in my mind (tho i cant remember who said it):

"RENT.
Went.
Don't."

#63

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 8:20am

WHAT CAN I SAY? It was as good as THOU SHALT NOT!

#64

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 9:03am

How about "Ben Brantley recommends it!" That is a real killer.

#65

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 1:00pm

"At least you have something frightening to tell the grandkids"

#66

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 1:25pm

The Funniest Bad Review of Recent Memory

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"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.” ~ Muhammad Ali

#67

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 1:52pm

"It sucked."

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"Everybody has a different idea of love. One girl I know said, 'I knew he loved me when he didn't come in my mouth.'" ~ Andy Warhol

#68

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 2:11pm

"Even LESTAT was better then this!"

Should have had MoreTit-LEStat

#69

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 2:46pm

It beats explosive diarrhoea... I think.

#70

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 3:48pm

Was the playwright high when he wrote this?

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It really said US Navy, but hey, I worked with what they gave me ok.

#71

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 3:51pm

From the Moose Murders review linked above:

"Amusingly designed by Marjorie Bradley Kellogg, the set represents a lodge in the Adirondacks and is profusely decorated with the requisite stuffed moose heads. Though the heads may be hunting trophies, one cannot rule out the possibility that these particular moose committed suicide shortly after being shown the script that trades on their good name."

I love it.

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Hear the words I sing: war's a horrid thing. So, I sing sing sing... Ding a ling a ling.

#72

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 3:55pm

'I recall about 10 years ago Keanu Reevs played Hamlet in Winnipeg and the reviewer at the time said: "Mr Reeves rememberd all of his lines and delivered them in the correct order."'

Somebody let Keanu play Hamlet?! I love Keanu, but his only capable of emoting one thing-- dumbfoundedness.

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You promised me poems. ~Tricky

#73

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/17/06 at 10:07pm

Best four word review to sum up a disaster:

"There is no God."

#74

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/18/06 at 11:46pm

"Would Dr Jack Kervokian please report to the stage door immediately"

#75

re: What is the worst review you can give a show?

Posted: 11/19/06 at 12:00am

"By the end of Funny Boy, everyone is dead. They were the lucky ones."

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"Writing should be easy, like a monkey driving a speedboat..." -[title of show] "I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and meet up with them later." -Mitch Hedberg