Worst Broadway Lyric ever? — Page 7

#151

BKLYN

Posted: 3/16/05 at 2:09pm

there are countless verses in BKLYN. Oh, God this musical...

for those who don't know.

BKLYN - BROOKLYN feat. Eden Espinosa

Updated On: 3/16/05 at 02:09 PM

#152

Helen Lawson

Posted: 3/16/05 at 5:16pm

"It's my yard
So I will try hard
To welcome friends I have yet to know!
Oh, I'll plant
My own tree
My own tree and
I'll make it grow!"

Okay, it's from "Valley of the Dolls" but it was SUPPOSED to be a Broadway show. (I'm still mystified what exactly that musical was supposed to be about -- a woman sings a "triumphant" number inside a giant mobile, a Vegas showgirl in headdress is in it, a girl sings a song on top of a box ...)

#153

Footloose

Posted: 3/16/05 at 6:28pm

"She don't score at Bowl-a-rama, still he's got to thank his mama...whoa, whoa, whoa, Let's Hear It For the Boy..."

#154

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 3/16/05 at 6:39pm

"Which way's the party?/Which way's the next keg of Winkie beer?"

On a cool San Francisco night, that little lyric managed to single-handedly crush all hopes I had for Wicked making a successful book-to-musical transition. On the upside, they had the presence of mind to cut the offending song before it got to Broadway. On the downside...we got "Dancing Through Life" in its place.

"To kill outside St. Paul's/requires a lot of balls"

...

Damn you, Leslie Bricusse. Damn you to hell.

#155

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 3/16/05 at 11:45pm

re: Oz - was

No one seemed to mind when Yip Harburg did it.

"We're off to see the wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
We hear he is a wiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was"

#156

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 3/17/05 at 12:58am

Any line from the terrible song poor David Opatashu had to sing in "Bravo Giovanni" The worst is "Arrivaderchi virture. I don't wanna hurt you" but "Senigore Toscarini (or something like that) here is your knife back, and with my luck they'll go and give me my wife back..." is right down there too.

HOWEVER for all you girls out there looking for a belt audition piece, "I'm All I've Got" the song that won Michelle Lee her Tony award is amazing. How could that song come from the same show?

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#157

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 3/17/05 at 1:03am

Joniray, you missed the worst line: "The house began to pitch. The kitchen took a slitch."

You know, making up words that rhyme CAN be done well. Larry Hart did it all the time. Some of his words even entered the language (to speak in the vernacular of the peasantry...) but "slitch??????

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#158

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 3/17/05 at 1:10am

To Feodor Sverdlov (god, I'm on a roll tonight) from page one, I agree, that line is pretty bad. And yet the show has the simple and stunningly effective line "Somebody even painted the damn sky, just so Leona could come here and cry."

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Updated On: 3/17/05 at 01:10 AM

#159

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 3/17/05 at 1:33am

Concerning Nessa/confess-a, I just wanted to mention that technically this lyric does continue. Schwartz doesn't just add "a" to "confess." It's "Nessa, uh, Nessa, I've got something to confess - a reason why, well, why I asked you here tonight." Not the best rhyme in the world, but an actual rhyme to say the least and A LOT better than a lot of these other things. LOL...whoever mentioned the dreadful Jellicle cat song was right on. It's pretty easy to "rhyme" if you are just repeating the same phrase over and over...

Updated On: 3/17/05 at 01:33 AM

#160

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 3/17/05 at 2:18am

The worst probably has to be:

"I'll fly like a raven
in a sky of doves.
I'll make you love to hate me,
but it's still love - it's still love."

Give me a F*CKING break. Terrible.

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"If you are going to do something, do it well. And leave something witchy." -Charlie Manson

#161

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 3/17/05 at 11:03am

"I am a Las who alas loves a lad who once I had in canabury, Tis a Row Dow Dee Doll Dow Day, Tis a Row Dow Dee Doll Dow Day"

sondheim is a genius and I love Sweeney Todd but I can't stand Parlor Songs, especially the part above.

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<------ Me and my friends with patti Lupone at my friends afterparty for her concert with audra mcdonald during the summer of 2007.
"I am sorry but it is an unjust world and virtue is only triumphant in theatricle performances" The Mikado

#162

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/22/06 at 12:27pm

Off-Broadway from the song "Marvin's Giddy Seizures" from the show "In Trousers"

"Marvin holds his breath, his face is under water
But that's not a seizure.
Marvin talks of death, he imitates a slaughter
But that's not a seizure."

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BSoBW2: I punched Sondheim in the face after I saw Wicked and said, "Why couldn't you write like that!?"

#163

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/22/06 at 12:33pm

" I must disregard his charms, and his manly rugged arms." WIW

Why, David Zippel?

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Keep your morals, I don't have time. Keep your lovers, I'm changing mine! -The Likes of Us

#164

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/22/06 at 12:49pm

I can't believe noone has mentioned this line...

"One thing I'll say for him, Jesus is cool!"


Now, JCS is my favorite show....but this line is terrible!

#165

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/22/06 at 12:50pm

In defense of what someone said about the "little elf" line in Jane Eyre: a lot of the lyrics were taken from the actual text of the novel. I know that's not much of an excuse, but I think they were really trying to be faithful to the novel - and they were, to an extent.

I hate when show titles are repeated: "...WICKED! WICKED! WICKED!" and "RENT RENT RENT RENT RENT!". When I first heard that last one, I literally thought, "Are they for real? This sounds like something The Simpsons would do as a parody".

Jekyll and Hyde is full of them, especially "Murder! Murder!". Oh, and the "First Transformation"? A violent transformation...set to waltz music. It makes me laugh every time - almost like "The Proposal" in Jane Eyre ("Because the pain, because the grief is slowly turning to rage")...sorry, Jane, but it's hard to take you seriously when such happy-sounding music is being played.

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Merrily we roll along, roll along...

#166

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/22/06 at 12:50pm

I'm not sure if I posted somewhere else in this, maybe I did, but as much as I like the music, some of the Wicked lyrics are terrible:

"she's a terror, she's a tartar..."

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"We like to snark around here. Sometimes we actually talk about theater...but we try not to let that get in our way." - dramamama611

#167

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/22/06 at 12:54pm

Nobody in all of Oz
No wizard that there is..or was.


uuughhhh.

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"No two shows are alike in the making. Each show is a living piece of your life in a small unreal world with its own character and integrity; its own new set of memorable experiences and incredible happenings. You begin to love and adapt to its strangeness. Dreams harden into substance. Values come into focus. You wish it would never end. The dream world vanishes like mist before a rising sun; part of you vanishes with it. And back you land in the real world with a thud- fogged, uneasy, jittery, difficult to get along with. There is only one cure. A new show. A new, small unreal world; new visions, experiences, incredible happenings. Again you love it, adapt to it, wish it would never end. But end it does. Another part of you vanishes. That's show business."-Anonymous

#168

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/22/06 at 12:56pm

sorry if this has been mentioned already but...


"God I'm a dancer! A dancer dances!"

Love Chorus Line, but I hate that line.

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"Have a child for warmth and a baker for bread and a prince for... whatever!"

#169

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/26/06 at 3:06pm

"Every endeavor I have made ever..."

-"This is the Moment" from Jekyll & Hyde

ouch.

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-jess- "I think every actor on the stage should have a shirt that says,'believe it or not-I'm doing my best.'" -Alan Rickman

#170

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/26/06 at 4:24pm

Not the worst, but .....

"like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood."

Skybird!!!! Come on!!

#171

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/26/06 at 4:47pm

Basically all of Jekyll and Hyde makes me turn white.

But I think there is a special place in lyric hell reserved for this one:
"Dreams the way we planned them/if we worked in tandem."

I just cannot stand that line. "Wicked" has a lot of bad rhymes, but that one just takes the cake for me.

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Stop looking at my charisma.

#172

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/26/06 at 5:05pm

hahaha this is FAR too amusing. I'm personally surprised no one has said this one yet:

"Who do you think you are
Barging in on me and my guitar?"

I adore Rent...but no. And then it just HAS to come back in Finale A! *shakes head*

#173

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/26/06 at 5:10pm

Just to follow-up with the terrible Wicked lyrics--

"She's wicked - get her!"

#174

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/26/06 at 5:24pm

Not Broadway, but it's still the most GOD AWFUL lyric Ive ever heard... especially if you were on the receiving end when it was being sung.

"I have felt on my thighs, the raw meat of your love, my love"

From My Life With Albertine

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"You're every gay man's wet dream!" ~ MA

If in Heaven you don't excel, you can always party down in hell...

#175

Worst. Lyrics. EVER.

Posted: 1/26/06 at 5:24pm

Stronger than anyone
six times as pretty
an eagle brasier with a wing on each titty
TITTY!TITTY!TITTY!TITTY!
-- Caroline, or Change

I can't play this song in the car because I'm afraid of looking perverted.