#1
Posted: 4/20/09 at 4:16pm
As you've no doubt noticed by now, Britain's Got Talent contestant Susan Boyle has recently taken over the world. She is everywhere, and I'm being told incessantly that I'm to find her an "inspiration," even though that makes no sense. I don't begrudge the woman herself for it, because how was she supposed to know the world was going to go ape**** over her? Aside from being really sick of having Les Mis stuck in my head all the time now, I do, however, have a huge bone to pick with the media fervor, and here's why.
Simon Cowell Obviously Knew She Could Sing Beforehand
No way did she make it to the Britain's Got Talent stage before passing some kind of screening process, meaning the producers -- including Simon, and probably hosts Ant & Dec as well -- knew already that she was going to be able to sing. I don't deny that the shocked reactions were entertaining to watch, but they were also fake as hell.
If You've Never Been Kissed, It Was Probably By Choice
The part of her story the media seems most moved by is her claim that she is not only a 47-year-old virgin, but that she has also never been kissed. We're supposed to feel really bad about this, but I'm sorry -- how many truly unfortunate-looking people do you know who have managed to find somebody to make out with at least once in their lives? She's either lying or it was her choice not to do so. Either way, I don't really care, and it's not a reason for someone to be famous.
She's Not That Good
If she were attractive and had the exact same voice, she wouldn't have gotten any attention. There is something so condescending about lavishing huge praise on someone for sounding slightly better than the sad reality TV crazy they appeared to be.
This Has Gone from Harmless Human Interest Story to Horrifying Bastardization in Record Time
I refrained from talking too much about Susan when her story first broke, other than saying I don't really get the excitement over her, but now the poor woman's been publicly offered everything from makeovers to her own porno and a whole bunch of other insulting crap in between since then, and all I'm saying is this is just bringing out the commercializing worst in everyone. Saying someone is an inspiration for not being ashamed of looking the way they do when you think she should be is bad enough, but then insisting they need a makeover so both parties can make a few bucks is contradictory and infuriating. And the porn thing, while not surprising, is just plain horrifying. Can we just leave the woman's purported virginity out of everything and not make money off of it?
How, Exactly, is She Inspiring?
I'm honestly just asking here. Is it because she has the strength to go on living despite not being gorgeous? That seems to be what I'm being told day and night. How amazing! I know we all already knew this, but the media really, truly is the worst.
Television Without Pity
Simon Cowell Obviously Knew She Could Sing Beforehand
No way did she make it to the Britain's Got Talent stage before passing some kind of screening process, meaning the producers -- including Simon, and probably hosts Ant & Dec as well -- knew already that she was going to be able to sing. I don't deny that the shocked reactions were entertaining to watch, but they were also fake as hell.
If You've Never Been Kissed, It Was Probably By Choice
The part of her story the media seems most moved by is her claim that she is not only a 47-year-old virgin, but that she has also never been kissed. We're supposed to feel really bad about this, but I'm sorry -- how many truly unfortunate-looking people do you know who have managed to find somebody to make out with at least once in their lives? She's either lying or it was her choice not to do so. Either way, I don't really care, and it's not a reason for someone to be famous.
She's Not That Good
If she were attractive and had the exact same voice, she wouldn't have gotten any attention. There is something so condescending about lavishing huge praise on someone for sounding slightly better than the sad reality TV crazy they appeared to be.
This Has Gone from Harmless Human Interest Story to Horrifying Bastardization in Record Time
I refrained from talking too much about Susan when her story first broke, other than saying I don't really get the excitement over her, but now the poor woman's been publicly offered everything from makeovers to her own porno and a whole bunch of other insulting crap in between since then, and all I'm saying is this is just bringing out the commercializing worst in everyone. Saying someone is an inspiration for not being ashamed of looking the way they do when you think she should be is bad enough, but then insisting they need a makeover so both parties can make a few bucks is contradictory and infuriating. And the porn thing, while not surprising, is just plain horrifying. Can we just leave the woman's purported virginity out of everything and not make money off of it?
How, Exactly, is She Inspiring?
I'm honestly just asking here. Is it because she has the strength to go on living despite not being gorgeous? That seems to be what I'm being told day and night. How amazing! I know we all already knew this, but the media really, truly is the worst.
Television Without Pity
