Cleverest Lyrics?

#1

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 4:31pm

What do you think is the cleverest Broadway lyric? I'm thinking best use of rhyme, but anything witty, really.

The first thing that comes to mind to me is,
"When a person's personality is personable,
He should not sit like a lump.
It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull
To try to get you off of your rump."

Oh, and everything from "A Little Priest."

Updated On: 2/1/10 at 04:31 PM

#2

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 4:41pm

I've always been partial to:

"While her withers wither with her"

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Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia

#3

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 4:47pm

I've always liked, "Wishes come true, not free" from Children Will Listen. And all of Your Fault is pretty clever, IMO.

#4

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 4:54pm

To me a clever lyric is one that is not identified as such when first heard.

And oh, the towering feeling
Just to know somehow you are near.
The overpowering feeling
That any second you may suddenly appear.

Twin interior rhymes, one masculine, one feminine in the A line and a masculine rhyme in the B line. Effortlessly clever, but knowing about Lerner, these four lines probably took a week to write.

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"If my life weren't funny, it would just be true. And that would be unacceptable." --Carrie Fisher

#5

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 5:19pm

From City of Angels:

Though I've never seen her,
I've seen girls like this, so young and ripe.
Your missing Miss is not the type
To miss a misdemeanor.

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"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian

#6

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 5:26pm

From ONCE UPON A MATTRESS:

Alas, a lass is what I lack
I lack a lass
Alas, alack

#7

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 5:31pm

Set to the cadence of a locomotive train, the lyrics from Rock Island from The Music Man:

Cash for the merchandise, cash for the button hooks
Cash for the cotton goods, cash for the hard goods
Cash for the fancy goods
Cash for the noggins and the piggins and the frikins
Cash for the hogshead, cask and demijohn. Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper
Look whatayatalk. Whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk, whatayatalk?
Weredayagitit?
Whatayatalk?
Ya can talk, ya can talk, ya can bicker ya can talk, ya can bicker, bicker bicker ya can talk all ya want
but it's different than it was.
No it ain't, no it ain't, but ya gotta know the territory.

Etc....

#8

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 5:33pm

"When I'm Not Near the Girl I Love" from Finian's Rainbow.

Anything by Howard Ashman.

#9

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 5:41pm

It's fop...
Finest in the shop...
And we have some shepherds pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top...

Stay away from
Jazz and liquor
And the men who
Play for fun
That's the thought that
Came upon me
When we both reached for the gun!

Guess what, an invitation
Guess who, begins with an A
Armfeldt, is that a relation
To the decrepit Desiree?.

she's monstrous!
She's frightened
Unfeeling!
Unversed. She'd strike you as unenlightened
No I'd strike her first!

#10

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 5:45pm

I'm partial to the lyrics in Please, Hello personally.

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When I see the phrase "the ____ estate", I imagine a vast mansion in the country full of monocled men and high-collared women receiving letters about productions across the country and doing spit-takes at whatever they contain. -Kad

#11

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 5:52pm

On the steps of the Palace, but especially the last few lines...very clever

Now it's he and not you
Who is stuck with a shoe,
In a stew, in the goo,
And you've learned something, too,
Something you never knew,
On the steps of the palace.

#12

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 5:57pm

I love On the Steps of the Palace! Especially the lines:

But then, what if he knew
Who you were when you know
That you're not what he thinks
That he wants?

And then what if you are...

That entire song is one of Sondheim's most clever works.

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"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian

#13

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 6:00pm

"I'm partial to the lyrics in Please, Hello personally."

As am I- particularly the wonderful Gilbert and Sullivan pastiche for the British admiral.

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"...everyone finally shut up, and the audience could enjoy the beginning of the Anatevka Pogram in peace."

#14

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 7:37pm

I was listening to The Goodbye Girl today and these David Zippel lines jumped out...

Who would have thought
I'm enough of a fool
To be taking the plunge
After draining the pool.

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Faced with these Loreleis, what man can moralize!

#15

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 7:53pm

From the master of witty and clever, Cole Porter:

There's a prince whose home has become a must
For the lower men of the upper crust
Cause his high born wife
Has such a low cut bust
Come along with me

If you'd like to dine with an old Marquis
Who will swear that technically he is free
But his wife's the only technicality
Come along with me

from Can-Can (1953)

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My Avatar is the amazing young singer, James Anest

#16

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 8:05pm

Can-Can has really clever lyrics, I think. I especially like:

If in Deauville ev'ry swell can
It is so simple to do,
If Debussy and Ravel can,
'Twill be so easy for you.
If the Louvre custodian can,
If the Guard Republican can,
If Van Gogh and Matisse and Cézanne can,
Baby, you can can-can too.
If a chief in the Sudan can,
If the hefty Aga Khan can,
If the camels in his caravan can,
Baby, you can can-can too.

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When I see the phrase "the ____ estate", I imagine a vast mansion in the country full of monocled men and high-collared women receiving letters about productions across the country and doing spit-takes at whatever they contain. -Kad

#17

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 8:09pm

Of Sondheim, I think "You Must Meet My Wife" takes it for me.

#18

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 8:15pm

In view of her penchant
For something romantic,
De Sade is to trenchant
And Dickens too frantic,
And Stendhal would ruin
The plan of attack,
As there isn't much blue in 'The Red and the Black.'

De Maupassant's candour
Would cause her dismay,
The Brontes are grander
But not very gay,
Her taste is much blander,
I'm sorry to say,
But is Hans Christian Andersen ever risque?
Which eliminates A...

#19

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 8:43pm

from LADY BE GOOD

Who takes care of the caretaker's daughter
When the caretaker’s busy taking care?
Gee! Oh gosh, oh gee
That’s what worries me.
I know the caretaker must take care
And while he's taking care she's alone somewhere
But who takes care of the caretaker's daughter
While the caretaker’s busy taking care?

Who lays the bricklayer's daughter
While the bricklayer's busy laying bricks?
Gee! Oh gosh, oh gee
That’s what worries me.
I know that the bricklayer lays lots of bricks
And you could too if you knew his tricks
But who lays the bricklayer's daughter
While the bricklayer’s busy laying bricks?

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"I long-ago realized that this country is a nation of morons, when it comes to knowledge of anything outside, or beyond, pop culture." Steve Slezak

#20

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 8:56pm

Wear your hair down
And a flower
Don't use makeup
Dress in white
She'll grow older by the hour
And be hopelessly shattered
By Saturday night

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Cheyenne Jackson tickled me. AFTER ordering SoMMS a drink but NOT tickling him, and hanging out with Girly in his dressing room (where he DIDN'T tickle her) but BEFORE we got married. To others. And then he tweeted Boobs. He also tweeted he's good friends with some chick on "The Voice" who just happens to be good friends with Tink's ex. And I'm still married. Oh, and this just in: "Pettiness, spite, malice ....Such ugly emotions... So sad." - After Eight, talking about MEEEEEEEE!!! I'm so honored! :-)

#21

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 9:00pm

I'm SHOCKED no one has mentioned this one yet, Lapine/Sondheim SITPWG:
"Work is what you do for others... art is what you do for yourself."

More profound than clever, but whatever...

P

#22

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 11:01pm

"Schadenfreude" from AVENUE Q

#23

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 11:07pm

Also, not so much for rhymes (though they are great),
"Exhibit A" from Sondheim's SATURDAY NIGHT is hilarious for the way builds on itself musically and lyrically.

#24

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/1/10 at 11:35pm

I'm SHOCKED no one has mentioned this one yet, Lapine/Sondheim SITPWG:
"Work is what you do for others... art is what you do for yourself."

More profound than clever, but whatever...


In that vein, a favorite of mine:

Stop worrying where you're going-
Move on.
If you can know where you're going,
You've gone.
Just keep moving on.

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"It's Phantom meets Hamlet... Phamlet!"

#25

Cleverest Lyrics?

Posted: 2/2/10 at 1:03am

My Fair Lady is loaded and my favorite is in Show Me

"anyone who's ever been in love will tell you that
this is no time for a chat!"