Crappy Lyrics

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Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/15/14 at 9:33pm

In your opinion, what is the worst lyric from a writer who should have known better?

One that makes me cringe is from Kiss of the Spiderwoman when Marta sings: "Dear one, I don't miss you inside me." Really? That's the best he could do?

If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/15/14 at 10:17pm

I'm not sure if it's the worst, but I hate hate hate this part in "Velma's Revenge" from HAIRSPRAY:

I knew Negro Day would bring chaos and change
Now he's pushing this pinko who might give us all mange

It just seems so clunky to me.

Keeping BroadwayWorld Illustrated

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/15/14 at 10:29pm

"All my dreams will be repaid." (FOLLIES)

Dreams come true- debts are repaid.

Well-well-well-what-do-you-think-of-that-I-have-nothing-here-to-pay-my-train-fare-with-only-large-bills-fives-and-sevens....

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 1:28am

"This little girl we could be in the sack
For what it costs me to buy a Big Mac"

There's a lot of clunky lyrics in Miss Saigon but I think this is the worst

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 2:32am

"Take me to a zoo that's got chimpanzees
Tell me on a Sunday please" Don Black

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 6:36am

The perfect lyric for the title of this thread: "a seminar on Joan's ass in her Levi's."

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 7:09am

This always bugs me

From Castle in a Cloud in Les Miz...the NOT RHYMING...

There is a room that's full of toys,
There are a hundred boys and girls

I mean seriously? Talk about taking a listener out of the moment...in a pretentious sort of way to boot.

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 8:06am

Lazy lyric to make a rhyme from one of my favorite songs in one of my favorite shows-I Believe from BOM

And now I can feel the excitement.
This is the moment I was born to do.
And I feel so incredible
To be sharing my faith with you.

How does one 'do' a moment?

Updated On: 4/16/14 at 08:06 AM

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 8:10am

"The heat is on in Saigon
The girls are hotter 'n' hell
One of these slits here will be Miss Saigon
God, the tension is high, not to mention the smell"

I'm assuming "not to mention the smell" is an entirely different thought, but it reads like they're saying that the smell is high. Which makes no sense.

"...everyone finally shut up, and the audience could enjoy the beginning of the Anatevka Pogram in peace."

#10

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 9:21am

I take it to mean the smell is overpowering, like the tension. Is it perfect? No, but I never parsed it as two different thoughts.

#11

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 9:41am

Except that no one would ever say than an overpowering smell is "high."

"...everyone finally shut up, and the audience could enjoy the beginning of the Anatevka Pogram in peace."

#12

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 9:50am

All of Don Black's lyrics in the original "Tell Me On a Sunday" TV musical are pretty clunky. Even though Richard Maltby claimed that he rewrote almost 2/3 of the lyrics when the show went to Broadway (as half of "Song and Dance") I still thought they were pretty bad.

#13

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 9:54am

Maltby's lyrics seem to largely apply to the connecting pieces between the major set-piece songs. We can thank him for such delightful details as "I spilled tea on your bongos"

#14

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 10:01am

Despite this show being a bit of a guilty pleasure for me, I hate the line, "there are bridges you crossed you didn't know you crossed until you crossed" from Wicked.

"If you try to shag my husband while I am still alive, I will shove the art of motorcycle maintenance up your rancid little Cu**. That's a good dear" Tom Stoppard's Rock N Roll

#15

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 10:35am

"You want to produce films and write songs? | you need somewhere to do it | it's what we used to dream about | think twice before you poo-poo it"

#16

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 10:45am

Except that no one would ever say than an overpowering smell is "high."

Actually, that usage is not uncommon in British English. (Or at least, it has been used a lot in British English throughout the 19th and 20th century).

Google "a high smell."

#17

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 10:48am

Whenever I see your face the world disappears,
All in a single glance so revealing.
You smile and I feel as though I've know you for years.
How do I know to trust what I'm feeling?

I believe my heart,
What else can I do?
When every part of every thought leads me straight to you.
I believe my heart.
There's no other choice,
For now whenever my heart speaks, I can only hear your voice

The life-time before we met has faded away.
How did I live a moment without you?
You don't have to speak at all, I know what you'd say.
And I know every secret about you.

I believe my heart.
It believes in you.
It's telling me that what I see is completely true.
I believe my heart.
How can it be wrong?
It says that what I feel for you I will feel my whole life long.

I believe my heart.
It believes in you.
It's telling me that what I see is completely true.
And with all my soul
I believe my heart.
The portrait that it paints of you is a perfect work of art.

This from the genius that wrote the lyrics for City of Angels and Disney's Hercules? I could hardly believe what I was hearing when I first listened to Woman in White.

"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian

#18

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 11:00am

"Bullying by Numbers" from SPIDER-MAN: TURN OFF THE DARK. What a horrendous song with horrendous lyrics.

#19

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 11:08am

Bullying by Numbers didn't used to be that bad before 2.0 but now it's just terrible.
Also everything in SIDE SHOW seems like it is making fun of conjoined twins.

#20

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 11:19am

I mean seriously? Talk about taking a listener out of the moment...in a pretentious sort of way to boot.

Herbert Kretzmer said in The Barricade newsletter that he didn't want it to rhyme, because it would telegraph itself. Plus something about how this little girl shouldn't be that articulate with rhyme given her circumstances.

"This thread reads like a series of White House memos." — Mister Matt

#21

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 11:28am

I hate it when writes are just lazy and they think repeating by rewording will work.

Someone Else's Story from Chess

In someone else's lifetime
Someone with my name
Who looked a lot like me

Trouble is, the girl is me
The story is, the girl is me.

YES WE GET IT, THE GIRL IS REALLY YOU. WE GET IT. IT'S NOT SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY. IT'S YOU. GOT IT. A WHOLE SONG ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE WHO IS REALLY YOU.

If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

#22

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 12:12pm

"Also everything in SIDE SHOW seems like it is making fun of conjoined twins."

The fact that it ends with a song called "I Will Never Leave You" seems like something out of a Mel Brooks film.

"...everyone finally shut up, and the audience could enjoy the beginning of the Anatevka Pogram in peace."

#23

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 12:29pm

SO many of the lyrics from Ghost really get on my nerves. I loved the show but I can't listen to the cast recording any more.

#24

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 12:30pm

YES! Ghost is up there on the bad lyrics list!

I think the lyrics to "Dancing Through Life" are pretty bad. (I tend to like Wicked, but wish there was a better song in that moment.)

Updated On: 4/16/14 at 12:30 PM

#25

Crappy Lyrics

Posted: 4/16/14 at 12:33pm

‘Despite this show being a bit of a guilty pleasure for me, I hate the line, "there are bridges you crossed you didn't know you crossed until you crossed" from Wicked.’

Huh. That’s interesting. The lyrics in WICKED are pretty pedestrian, but that’s one of the few I really like. There’s a lot of truth in it, and the odd phrasing works in its favor, like she’s figuring it out for herself as she’s singing it.

But, hey, this from a guy who thinks CHILDREN OF EDEN is Schwartz’s finest moment, so what do I know?

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