Fake Theatre Kids

I hate to call people fake to mean they're lying or disingenuous

Usually if somebody's fake they are actually entirely confident that they're real

Here are some of my favorite/least favorite kinds of "fake" or "surface level" theatre kids

1: The kind who don't like musicals

2: The kind who only like Disney musicals

3: The kind who think that the talented people aren't that much better than them and that they'll surely get a lead by singing in a Beetlejuice voice

4: The kind who don't know who Stephen Sondheim is

5: The kind who literally say that they don't want to ever watch any musical

6: The kind who only like three of the following shows and no other musicals: Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Heathers, Beetlejuice, Ride the Cyclone, Mean Girls, and Be More Chill (and some of those are great shows but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about)

And, yes, when I was in high school, even in my very small drama department, I met a lot of people who were all of those. I think that a majority of "theatre kids" fall into the sixth one. I wish all theatre kids were like the ones from the new Theatre Camp movie with Ben Platt.

What are some of your favorite fake theatre kids or stories about them?

Note to autocorrect: Theatre is not just the British spelling of theater. Ask the American Theatre Wing and they'll tell you: It refers in American English to the art form of live stage performance

I don't have any issue with people enjoying things differently from me, I just find it pretty funny how they call themselves theatre kids mostly

Although you are correct that I am very petty and immature

It's a consequence of being highly opinionated and unsuccessful, I think

Y'know posting stupid things on the internet

I do apologize if I made you upset, though

I will say though-- I was friends with every kind of person I listed and at some point or another fulfilled most of those things

I don't like to make fun of things unless I myself have been through them

I actually am neither a child or middle aged, though I will say those are both very good guesses

QueenTwinnied said: "Truly one of the most unhinged posts I’ve ever seen here. You should really get a journal"

I get that a lot. The really shocking thing is that I do have a journal. ... And there's no real reason not to write these things in a journal instead. I'm certain you've seen more unhinged though. I do get called unhinged very often, though.

Edit: I'm looking at all of this now and realizing I'm pretty crazy

Updated On: 12/5/23 at 10:14 PM

Kad said: "High schoolers are annoying. Glad you’ve realized that. Time to move onto the myriad of problems you will face as an adult."

Thank you, Kad, for changing my entire way of life

Now, instead of dwelling on high school because of some vague thing I will actually always think about how to be an adult and not fall into the stupidest dumbest habits imaginable

By which I mean I actually should think about doing that

...

Wow on any other forum people definitely wouldn't say something like "time to move onto the myriad of problems you will face as an adult." It is time, though. Thanks for saying that, it's equally sassy and somehow more concise when compared to what I think most people would tell me

Kad said: "High schoolers are annoying. Glad you’ve realized that. Time to move onto the myriad of problems you will face as an adult."

As a high schooler, you're right. I saw a kid beat the **** out of another kid because for nagging for three dollars yesterday at my school. This is why i don't talk and see musicals, watch anime, play video games, and stalk the Broadway world message boards. (Yes, I'm a nerd, i am well aware.)

You aren't talking about fake theatre kids; you are talking about inexperienced theatre kids. They are young. They have not yet seen, heard, nor read enough to be at the level that you think these kids should be. Either they will grow and change, or they will lose interest and move on entirely. Rather than complaining, take the time to NICELY educate.

I know engaging with this is absolutely pointless, but I'd point out that point number 1 absolutely invalidates anything else. I know many people who've been working in the industry for ages who don't like musicals. Not liking musicals does not make someone a "fake theatre kid" in any way whatsoever.

As a recent high school grad, I was definitely number 6. And even the popular kids quoted Hamilton. Although, I befriended this kid who thought Lestat was the pinnacle of theatre and scoffed at those who only like DEH and Hamilton, so, pros and cons.

Updated On: 12/6/23 at 02:00 PM

OP I think I'm a little confused about what you're hoping to get out of this thread? Are you trying to commiserate with other people who feel the same way or just point out a trend you're seeing?

I do agree that a lot of these points ring true for many people in the high school age or who are just getting into theater (whom we should embrace because we need more younger people in the theater), and it frustrates me slightly when they write off R&H or other Golden Age shows as "just for old people", but hey, they're still learning, and it's nice to see high profile revivals like Falsettos and Music Man and Merrily bringing more of them into the fold.

chrishuyen said: "OP I think I'm a little confused about what you're hoping to get out of this thread? Are you trying to commiserate with other people who feel the same way or just point out a trend you're seeing?

I do agree that a lot of these points ring true for many people in the high school age or who are just getting into theater (whom we should embrace because we need more younger people in the theater), and it frustrates me slightly when they write off R&H or other Golden Age shows as "just for old people", but hey, they're still learning, and it's nice to see high profile revivals like Falsettos and Music Man and Merrily bringing more of them into the fold."

I think that the original poster probably clings to some kind of experience of feeling like they were too much of a nerd for even the theatre kids

And therefore is using this platform in adulthood to seek some kind of community of people who actually know about things they know

And is doing it in quite possibly the least effective way

pmensky said: "This made me miss Vanessa Bayer’s recurring portrayal of Jacob, the Bar Mitzvah boy, who would visit SNL’s Weekend Update to share lists of holiday related traditions and his experiences and opinions related to them. I think we need an angry theatre kid character to do a dramatic reading of the OP. Where is Jesse Tyler Ferguson when you need him?"

I'm ammending my theory:

The original poster is actually posting rejecting SNL concepts

That or they're playing a character of exactly what you just described and this is like some elaborate ploy

I don't even know why I'm jumping into this thread because it's so bizarre. But most of us started our theatre fandom with pretty basic and mainstream tastes. You can't blame high school students for what they don't know. If Wicked or Disney musicals or Be More Chill is the gateway to a more diverse palette of tastes, there's nothing wrong with that.

As far as I'm concerned fake theatre kids don't exist, because pretending to be a theatre kid is the most theatre kid thing you can possibly do.

Being really into theatre is cringe. You're cringe, I'm cringe, we're all cringe, who cares? Who cares if your favourites are slightly less cringe to a disconcerting ear? To an outsider it's all equally embarrassing. Enjoy it anyway.