You Know It's Community Theatre When... — Page 6

...it's a production of Dreamgirls and Effie is being played by a skinny white woman.

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The crew doesn't get paid....grrr.....

"Case in point. Why is Hugh Panaro doing the lead in COMPANY in Seattle? NOT that he isn't worthy or capable, but HE DOESN"T LIVE THERE! BUT, he can put in his resume 'Broadway Performer', and that trumps all. Nevermind the very capable PROFESSIONAL actors (yes, that means union affiliated) who could do the role - let's go after the marketing angle."

Hugh actually didn't go looking for this job.

I asked him how he ended up doing the role out there in Seattle and he told me that the director had seen "Lestat" and liked it. When the time came to cast "Company," he tracked Hugh down through his agent and asked him to play Bobby. He said it's the first time he can remember where he was actually asked to do a role, without going out and auditioning or otherwise actually seeking it.

I also don't think it ended up making a big difference to the audiences from a marketing angle. Hugh's not really the sort of Broadway name most people out there even recognized. I got the impression it almost hurt the production in the sense that most people were familiar with the other cast members, but Hugh was just some guy from New York.

perhaps this is just specific to my high school.

...the director's daughter manages to be a part of every production even though she doesn't go to your school
...you learn the ballet number in your soccer cleats, desperately trying to get through the entire thing before your coach drives off in the team van
...everything seems to be double casted, and people switch roles on different nights
...there has never been live music except for a piano and a sax in a few numbers
...you still don't know the dance number on opening night, and just decide to wing it
...as a dancer you're now ushering in a leotard that is about two sizes too big because you are replacing someone else in the show
...Tony in WSS will be played by a freshmen that is almost a head shorter than Maria. (If casting turns out the way everyone speculated...)

Updated On: 10/29/06 at 03:26 PM

Some jerk that's one of the lead roles doesn't know his lines and just plainly stands there until somebody else moves along or somebody backstage yells out the line...

Somebody forgets their cue to come onto the stage and the people onstage stand their hopelessly until the jerk backstage that forgot their cue realizes it's past time to go on OR somebody's come and had to notify them.

The office manager is initialing all the programs (which are 8.5 x 11 sheets of badly photocopied paper) and handing those out at the box office right before the show, because they ran out of tickets.

(This happened at a theatre I worked at.)

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when the cast has to hang out in "the band room" until they are called to the stage by the 16 yro stage manager who feels important to be wearing a headset.

when you don't even know half your cast because you rehearse on different nights.

when your Golde aka your onstage mom asks you on stage during a break if you studied for her math midterm tomorrow..

DG, this is in regards to your post that there is a CHANCE that none of us have done professional theatre...

I have. I've been in regional shows a few times, and after doing regional first, and then community, I was shocked to see how disoriented it all was...not in a snobbish manner...just dissapointed...

But that was THAT company...I've done others which have their fun shortcomings, but are still a blast...

I'm not angry with you in any way, I just wanted to let you know that I mean no disrepsect to community theatre in general.

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...you get audience complaints during a production of Jesus Christ Superstar that the show does not accurately follow the scriptures.

...even worse, when the director listens.

(Actually, the should be, "You know it's community theatre in the South when...)

...when a production of "Carousel" features tap dancing in one of the numbers (I kid you not).

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My favorite is when one of the creative staff has a mini-breakdown and storms out of rehearsal, and you aren't sure until the next day if they are even coming back.

-Danny and Cha Cha can't actually dance
-Rizzo is 50 years old
-Sally Bowles has a southern accent
- the kit kat girls are unsexy
- everyone in Guys and Dolls...aren't...
- precasting then holding auditions anyway
-the dancers are 45 or older
-frustrated musical directors taht feel they should be on Broadway, so they pick out the frustration on the cast
-choreographers that think everyone else sucks
-singers that can't hit the notes, but get the part because they are pretty and young
-people that get in every show without talent, but they are rich and buy lots of tickets
-horrible costumes, and not of the correct time period
-seniors on Sundays that are louder than the musicians
-stuck up people that do not realize that this is COMMUNITY THEATER...
"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille".....

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-When Belle is played by a 45 year old woman
-When on the tape of the show you can hear the conductor backstage yelling out measure numbers and cues to the orchestra
-When you're in the cast and the orchestra. Done that.
-When you hear the phrase "it's ok we'll just hot glue it."
-The sets are made completely of styrafoam
-If you're a guy and you just show up to auditions you get the lead
-The cast moves the set in full costume and with the lights up because the director doesn't want to ruin the illusion with people in black coming on and moving stuff

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