Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members- Page 101

[Emmaloucbway]

Posted: 12/26/11 at 11:37pm

@broadwaydevil that reminds me of the time when i saw h2s and these girls behind me kept complaining about how "feminine" Daniel's American accent sounded...

Posted: 12/27/11 at 7:33am

I was at Lysistrada Jones about a week before it opening and the playbills were marked as opening night. There were two women sitting next to me:
Woman 1: Oh look it's opening night.
Women 2: Oh wow how exiting I didn't know we were going to opening night.
At intermission they realized that it wasn't opening night because the playbill said the opening was the 14th but it was only the 10th.

[fingerlakessinger]

Posted: 12/27/11 at 12:13pm

Two girls at "Bonnie & Clyde"
"Jeremy Jordan is very hot!"
"Too bad he is gay"
"How do you know?"
"He's on Broadway....."

[flyinghighwithwicked]

Posted: 12/27/11 at 3:19pm

Opening Night of Next to Normal in Cleveland:

GIRL:Alice sounds awful! There's no way she won a tony for this!
FRIEND: No she did win a Tony, I saw it on TV.
GIRL:It had to be her understudy or something, because she is horrible!
ME: Alice Ripley did win a Tony Award for this role, it says so right in her bio.
GIRL: o_O


Also does it irritate anyone as much as it does me when people complain about understudies?

Wicked in Pittsburgh, Sept.23, 2011:
GUY: Oh, damn it, there's a back up on for the witch, Christine...Dwyer? Want to leave?
GIRL: No, I am sure she'll be great.
GUY: I payed to see a Broadway performance, not some back up who's probably gonna forget half the lines...

THAT annoys me. But I was thrilled when I turned around after Defying Gravity and he was in tears.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 1/4/12 at 11:08pm

I wanted to smack the women I was sitting next to at Follies this afternoon.

One thought it was okay to take off her shoes because we were sitting in the last row of the mezzanine, so she did.

Then at intermission they were complaining about how they thought the first act was boring, and how the concert version one saw at City Center was better. One reasoning was because it was shorter. I forget the words they used for that, but it was hilarious. But, they seemed most of all to want more action from the show girls, when that would have been distracting, and a better set.

[Emmaloucbway]

Posted: 1/5/12 at 5:52pm

Heard 2 good ones recently:

1. Daniel Radcliffe's last night. Platform/ropes are made visible (the ones that Daniel rises up in at the beginning. Wording it horribly i know).
Woman behind me: IS THAT A NOOSE??

2. Intermission at "On a Clear Day.."

Woman a few rows behind me; very loudly: IF YOU WANNA SEE A SHOW ABOUT HOMOSEXUALS, GO SEE PRISCILLA!!

[Mattbrain]

Posted: 1/5/12 at 6:15pm

I remember when I was at Follies and one old lady kept referring to the last revival of Jesus Christ Superstar as the "remake".

[Insider2]

Posted: 1/5/12 at 10:14pm

Oh my God you guys, do I have a great one for you!!!

I've read all 101 pages of this masterpiece of modern blogging, and I tell you it's brilliant. Just brilliant. Broadway World might have a book deal on their hands, what with all the absolute wit, insight, sophistication, and appreciation for theatre, written by what is obviously the most absolutely perfect and flawless group of Broadway insiders on the planet.

BUT!!!!! Hold onto your hats, folks. I have one for you. Possibly one that tops them all. Possibly the best one ever.

Granted, I could never know as much about theatre as all of you, and so maybe this isn't as funny as when someone who can't afford to attend 75 musicals a month mistakenly refers to a show as a "remake" rather than a revival. Damn those pea heads for not knowing the proper terminology. How dare they even be allowed through the theatre doors. I bet they even refer to an original cast album as a (GASP!!!) soundtrack!!!!!!

Wait....I'm beside myself just thinking about it. Let me catch my breath.....

Okay. There. Better. Sorry, I got distracted.

Now here's what I saw over at Folles the other day. It was my 150th time seeing it, and it was just as glorious as the first time.

Now for some hilarious things that I witnessed....or rather....that I could not believe I witnessed.

You see, I was on the aisle in row F, all settled in. I got there a half hour before curtain, just like you're supposed to, and sat silently in my seat with no drink and no texting and no talking to my partner next to me. That's the way God intended people to sit in the theatre, you'd better believe it. Theatre is not for fun. It is a temple dammit, so you sit in solemn silence, just like at a church. That means before the show starts and intermission too.

So anyway, as I was sitting there praying to the theatre gods for Bernadette to "bring it" once again, I noticed some fellow theatre experts in front of me. I could tell they were experts because one of them was wearing a Follies tee-shirt that was signed by every last Follies cast member. I must tell you that it took everything inside me to resist ripping it right off of his body and running into the bathroom to put it on myself.

The other one was wearing a tee-shirt that listed every show he has ever seen on Broadway, and let me tell you that the titles covered every inch of the short. he had even seen Moose Murders!!! But what they were wearing most of all, both of them, were scowls. Like me, they knew not to talk before the show or have the slightest bit of fun for their $250.00 premium seat. No, instead, they were looking around at every other inferior person in the theatre to monitor the scene and make sure, like them, no one was having fun, and especially, to record in their minds any stupid comments that might be made by people who only get to the theatre, say, once every few years...or once in a lifetime.

Since the audience was still filtering in to their seats at a quarter til curtain and since most everyone seemed in good spirits, this seemed to make them even more annoyed.

About five minutes before eight, the two seats next to them were still empty, which seemed to make them cheer up a bit. That is, until a slightly overweight, middle-aged couple were ushered down to this prime location.

"Ohh look how great these seats are!" said the woman, in an loud Southern drawl.

LOL! Hilarious! She didn't even know that row F meant great seats! And she was Southern!

Then, the two theatre experts and myself all noticed that they were each holding those awful sippy cups with wine in them. The theatre experts audibly huffed, and I think I did too. How dare someone actually take advantage of something that the theatre was offering and allowing! What do they think this is? A movie theatre??

The wine drinkers then noticed the theatre experts glaring at them and looked surprised. I can't believe they couldn't figure out why they were getting such evil looks.

Anyway, the next thing you know, these two dimwits were flipping through their prgrams, and the man said...wait for it...wait for it...."I love Bernadette Peters, but who is this Jan Maxwell?"

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! What a couple of idiots! How could they not know who Jan Maxwell is? I bet they live on a farm!

The two theatre experts also thought this was hilarious, but unlike me, they were unable to contain their emotions, and they both burst out laughing hysterically.

The two wine guzzling drunkards (they must be drunkards ---who else would dare to drink wine in a theatre?) looked shocked. They knew they were being made fun of.

The guy stood up and said "Why don't you two mind your own business instead of listening to other people's coversations?"

The one with the signed Follies tee-shirt (God, how I want that shirt!!) crossed his arms and in the most superior of voices (It is how you have to talk to these people!) said, "Well perhaps in the future, you shouldn't have such a stupid conversation."

With that, the wino man punched both of them right in the face.

I think the Follies cast tee shirt guy got his nose broken because blood was spurting from it like a geyser. The other one took it in the eye, and hard, I tell you, because by the end of the show (ohh yes, they stayed), his left eye was totally puffed shut, and black and blue.

Oddly, no one else witnessed this except me, not even the ushers, and all four of them simply then acted as if nothing unusual had taken place.

The winos sipped their wine silently throughout the show, laughing and applauding in all the appropriate places. The theatre experts sat there, hands crossed bitterly across their chests, one's nose still spurting blood as if he were Carrie White, the other's left eye possibly blinded. They did not clap or make a solitary sound for the rest of the show, just as one is supposed to behave at all times.

In the end, I say the whole thing was totally hysterical, and I hope that those two moronic tourists who dared to bring wine to their seats and not know who Jan Maxwell is got bit by a garbage truck on their way back to their hotel.

Oh, and by the way, did I mention that they checked shopping bags at coat check? Those horrible people........if you ask me.

[aasjb4ever]

Posted: 1/5/12 at 10:21pm

Too long. Did not read.

[Brave Sir Robin2]

Posted: 1/5/12 at 10:28pm

That's either horribly sarcastic, condescending, or both.

[Insider2]

Posted: 1/5/12 at 10:37pm

Yes, God forbid someone be condescending on a 101 page thread that could be subtitled THE THREAD OF CONDESCENSION.

[aasjb4ever]

Posted: 1/5/12 at 10:41pm

^This post was brought to you by the letter 'S' for *Snap!*



or Snark.

[bwayphreak234]

Posted: 1/5/12 at 10:53pm

What a couple of idiots! How could they not know who Jan Maxwell is? I bet they live on a farm!

...huh?

[Mattbrain]

Posted: 1/5/12 at 10:54pm

Oh and I'm not sure if I brought this up before but you know you're in good company when someone tells you that she saw Chicago and had issues with the fact that it wasn't like the movie or that Velma was played by a black actress....NAHT!!!

[nycsonya]

Posted: 1/30/12 at 8:45am

I didn't overhear this, but it's priceless.
Woman 1: Did you see Cats?
Woman 2: No, what's it about?
Woman 1: I'll tell you. There's this one cat, and she's real sick and tired, and the other cats put on a show for her to make her feel better. Then at the end, they put her on a tire and shoot her through the roof.

In my opinion, this makes more sense than the actual show.

[sbflyfan]

Posted: 1/30/12 at 9:18am

^And that "priceless" one has already been said about 45 times in this thread.

[jetts7]

Posted: 1/30/12 at 9:43am

This really isn't a tourist one t I thought I'd share it. This was a personal experience.

Lady: Hey! I saw you in Addsms Family yesterday!
This is was before I got the part on the tour
Me: no. I'm not in Addams family.
Lady: yes you are! And I saw you in the apple store yesterday!
Me: no. I wasn't in the city yesterday
Lady: you sure?
Me: Yes
Lady: you're lying
And the she walked away

[broadwayjim42]

Posted: 1/30/12 at 10:10am

January 7th "Follies" matinee...

In line to go into the theatre, a woman in front of me says "Do you have any idea what this is about?"

Let's see...you bought the ticket. Unless you played eenie, meeny, miney, moe at the TKTS booth, how could you not have even the vaguest clue about what you were about to see?

I know, not everyone's a theatre geek, but come on....

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 1/30/12 at 10:14am

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that 90% of what's posted in this thread is total BS. Some funny, but total BS.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 2/26/12 at 4:23pm

Setting: A train on the LIRR, inbound from Ronkonkoma.

Enter six middle aged ladies who obviously know each other. They are able secure two sets of seats across the aisle and facing each other. Obviously others will be joining them enroute.

The ladies are all giddy and obviously ready for a good time at a show. One lady asks the name of the show they'll be seeing. No one knows, however, they all comment that "Nickki'll know. She's got the tickets".

At Hicksville, Nickki and a few other ladies join the crowd and someone asks her the show's title. She responds, "ANYTHING GOES starring Sutton Foster". There's a bit of conversation about Sutton Foster and someone wants to know who "he" is. Another woman explains "It's a 'she' and we saw her in that CHAPERONE show." Everyone sortta sighs respectfully.

Someone then asks, "Joel Grey is in this too, isn't he?" Nickki responds,"Yes he is. He's her father, you know."

Another woman seems to snap out of a trance and says, "That's where I know her from! I watched Sutton Foster every week on DANCING WITH THE STARS."

[lupone76]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 9:30am

at a performance of priscilla the women behind me says to her friend: "this is a beautiful theater, its owned by disney".

[ActingIsLovee]

Posted: 2/28/12 at 10:53am

While waiting on the SRO line for Book of Mormon, there were 3 guys in their mid-twenties who sounded like overgrown 18 year old frat bros. They were talking about the last time they'd seen a musical
Bro: The last time I saw a musical was when I took Darcy to see Rent. Didn't even get a blowjob, those were expensive ****ing tickets!

(this was last summer, before the South Park episode)

[TheLadyoftheWood]

Posted: 3/23/12 at 2:53am

Overheard near the posters across the street from the Marquis. "Oh look, that is the show that Jeremy Jordan guy is in. I here he is really good." (Pointing to the War Horse Poster)

Me: "Jeremy Jordan is in Newsies not War Horse, you idiot!"

[juggles]

Posted: 3/23/12 at 5:30am

A man went to the bar.

MAN...A coke!!!!

barman stares at him
BARMAN....Do you mean a coke please?

man looks puzzled
MAN.....What's a cokeplease?

[jayinchelsea]

Posted: 3/23/12 at 8:48am

On leaving a theatre last week, one woman was overheard saying to another, "I didn't care for it, I like shows that are upbeat, with singing and dancing and a happy ending," to which her friend replied, "Then why did you buy tickets to DEATH OF A SALESMAN?"