Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members — Page 17

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#401

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/3/06 at 10:56pm

My overheard comment is more of a 'had to be there' moment but here goes. At Miss Saigon a few years ago, after Kim kills herself, the lady in front of me says to her husband real loud, "I knew it!" Then she pokes her friend next to her and says in the same loud tone, "Remember, I told you that she would probably kill herself?" It was more her 'know it all tone' that bothered me and the volume of her voice. It's like she wanted everyone around her to know that she had magically predicted the outcome. As if everyone had missed the Madame Butterfly connection or hadn't picked up on ALL of the foreshadowing. She really thought she was a real smart cookie. I wanted to lean over and whisper "No sh$t, Sherlock" but I didn't have the nerve.

#402

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/3/06 at 11:03pm

when I was in line for "Gypsy" tix one day, a nice woman in her 60's started talking to me.

"have you ever seen this"
"no, this is my first time with Bernadette, but I have seen other productions, and really enjoy the movie with Bette Midler"
"she's not in this"
".....I know, she was in a made-for-tv movie of it in the 80'."
"no she wasn't"
"yes she was"
"no she wasn't, I have been around and I don't recall ever hearing about Bette Midler performing Gypsy"
"well, trust me, there is a film out that you can still buy today. you can find it on the internet, go to imdb"
"well, I think you are mistaken, I know Gypsy and she's never done it."
"well, ok, .............bye. "

God, I just wanted to give her three good smacks.

"I'm an American, Damnit!!! And if it's three things I don't believe in, it's quitting and math."

#403

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/3/06 at 11:31pm

Not overheard at an actual theatre, but this definitely fits:

If you suspect a person is not a true theature person, just ask if they have heard of Steven Sondheihn, sorry bout spelling, or andrew loyd wright. It is funny if a person pretends to be theature and isn't.

Whatever happened to class?

#404

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/3/06 at 11:37pm

Haha ElphabaRose!

I was recently at the Wedding Singer waiting in line for student rush. This lady was really nice, but she wouldn't stop talking. It was the day of the Tony Awards, and she said "I have a friend who works at Jersey Boys and they said that none of the cast members will be at the show today because they have the Tonys." Also, she claimed she called the Wedding Singer box office and they said that there was only 8 rush tickets available total.

"We like to snark around here. Sometimes we actually talk about theater...but we try not to let that get in our way." - dramamama611

#405

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 1:36am

Ooh I remembered one recently. Not that funny, but at intermission at DRS, a mother was explaining to her son about how different shows and how some have a plot, and how others are just songs being sung without a story being told...she said that's what Mamma Mia is, and they're going to see that soon.

Eh, I guess she wasn't that off.

"If there was a Mount Rushmore for Broadway scores, "West Side Story" would be front and center. It snaps, it crackles it pops! It surges with a roar, its energy and sheer life undiminished by the years" - NYPost reviewer Elisabeth Vincentelli

#406

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 11:13am

I watched "Kiss of the Spiderwoman" with Chita on a Dec. 26th performance. These two older ladies seated in front of me say after the first act, "Boy, that was a cheery holiday musical!"

#407

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 2:20pm

This has nothing to do with Broadway theatre, but here goes:

One time back in the late 80s I was at a benefit performance for AIDS. It was a cabaret type show held at place that served alcohol(audience seated at small tables). Between acts various people were being recognized for giving money,volunteering time, etc. for AIDS related services. At one point the MC introduces a group that at the time was going into bars, visiting street fairs, etc to distribute free condoms, saying something like: "...That's so great that you guys are helping to distribute prophylaxes."

At this point a young (obviously intoxicated) audience member leans over beerily to someone at his table and says in a voice audible to everyone in the room: "PURPLE WHAT?"

Updated On: 7/4/06 at 02:20 PM

#408

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 8:30pm

Heard at Inishmore last night, not necessarily funny, but head-scratching:

"Well, I'm part Irish, but I just don't get it."

"Hey little girls, look at all the men in shiny shirts and no wives!" - Jackie Hoffman, Xanadu, 19 Feb 2008

#409

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 8:39pm

Two bitchy queens in the audience of MEET ME IN ST. LOUIS starring a 40 year old Debby Boone as teenager Esther Smith:

Debbie (as Esther on stage): "But next year, I'll be a senior! I've worked all my life to be a Senior!"

Queen to the other: "Yeah, a senior citizen..."

Updated On: 7/4/06 at 08:39 PM

#410

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 8:40pm

Add everything that Matt Schneider writes on these boards.

#411

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 8:42pm

I was doing a show with a teen and we were discussing broadway. He said

Teen: do you like Wicked?

Me: Yeah. It's good.

Teen: I LOVE Wicked! ....AND RENT!

Me: Yeah they're good! So do you like Norbert Leo Butz in DRS?

Teen: Who's he?

Me: He played Fiyero.

Teen: Oh! I LOVE Idina Menzel!!!

Me: She was good in Wicked.

Teen: SHE WAS IN WICKED!?!? WHO'D SHE PLAY!?!?

Me: Elphaba.

Teen: Who's that? Someone in the chorus?

Me: NO! She's the main character!

Teen: Oh!

Me: You like Joel Grey...The Wizard?

Teen: Oh Yeah!

Me: You like him in Cabaret?

Teen: What's Cabaret?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =O

GOD! That guy was completley clueles! SO later i said what are your favorite shows? He was puzzeled for a while so he said he would name every show he knows of!

Teen: Wicked, RENT, Annie, A Chorus Line, and Skid Row

Me: What's Skid Row?

Teen: You know! The show with the plant!

That's ALL of the shows he knew of! So I was speechless.

"I'm tellin' you, the only times I really feel the presence of God are when I'm having sex and during a great Broadway musical." - Nathan Lane - Jeffrey

#412

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 8:51pm

Last year I saw The Producers and sat 2nd to last row mezz. I couldn't help but notice the guy inback of me talking loud with a heavy German accent. He was talking to the person next to him and said "Excuse me- do you know what this show is about? I was told at "TKTS" that it was THE show to get tickets to" (I obviously don't remember the ENTIRE conversation but I know he added somewhere there that he was from Germany). So my dad turned around histerically laughing saying "Boy are you in for a surprise...."

#413

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 8:52pm

Every time I'm in the audience of a musical and a tourist sitting behind me inquires in their obligatory southern accent "So, what's this play about?" or "I'm excited to see this play", a little part of me dies inside.

#414

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 8:53pm

wow, Nathan. I would have punched them. Once I stopped laughing.

#415

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 8:54pm

There was A LOT more he said but it would've taken me all night to post it! lol

"I'm tellin' you, the only times I really feel the presence of God are when I'm having sex and during a great Broadway musical." - Nathan Lane - Jeffrey

#416

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 8:55pm

i actually kind of give them props for knowing a chorus line, i can't think of many teenagers that have heard of it that aren't into theatre.

#417

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 8:56pm

The only reason he knew of it was because that was the show we were doing!

"I'm tellin' you, the only times I really feel the presence of God are when I'm having sex and during a great Broadway musical." - Nathan Lane - Jeffrey

#418

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 9:03pm

Nathan: I must insist you type up as much of it as you can remember. I felt genuine pain in my brain from that short extract, and the masochistic part of me would LOVE to hear more!

Notes from the Earlham Street Gutter

#419

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 9:04pm

I'm with Weez. My migraine cries STOP! But the rest of me cries MORE!

#420

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 9:05pm

Well, I dont have that much time now but I will say he didn't even know what the Tony Awards were!

"I'm tellin' you, the only times I really feel the presence of God are when I'm having sex and during a great Broadway musical." - Nathan Lane - Jeffrey

#421

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 9:07pm

OK, now THAT'S sad.

MARGARET: "Clara, stop that. That's illegal." - The Light in the Piazza

"I'm not in Bambi and I'm not blonde!" - Idina Menzel

#422

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 9:48pm

When I saw WICKED in Detroit the people sitting beside me said this at intermission:

Boy: That girl was green!
Lady: I know! It must have been very hard to find an actual green woman, it's not like it's paint!

I just burst out laughing and made it seem like my mom had said something funny! I should have said something like, "it is paint you idiot! Look in the playbill, is Julia Murney really green?!?!?!" Like seriously why would someone think that!

la la, la la! you'll be popular! just not quite as popular as ME!

Updated On: 7/4/06 at 09:48 PM

#423

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 9:55pm

^ You win. That's the best one yet.

#424

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 11:33pm

well I can't top the "acutal green girl" comment, or the one about Piazza can't really be that funny because "you know, there's a retarded girl"...which made me laugh out loud..but I do have 2 from Spelling Bee:

A little boy was loudly asking his dad what an erection was and why was everyone laughing. The dad just kept telling him to be quiet but the boy just kept getting more & more insistent "now dad, tell me what an erection is right now!!" It was funnier than the actual song.

Also,there was a girl who was throwing up right in the front row while JTF was singing "I'm not that smart." After the song was over, he went back to the bleachers and was cracking up and was trying to tell the other cast members about it. A lot of them were laughing for a while on stage.

#425

re: Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members

Posted: 7/4/06 at 11:48pm

I should have said something like, "it is paint you idiot! Look in the playbill, is Julia Murney really green?!?!?!" Like seriously why would someone think that!

But the playbill is B & W!

"This thread reads like a series of White House memos." — Mister Matt

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