When Someone Overflows Onto Your Seat & Ruins The Show?- Page 2

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 12:56am

"I recognize the sensitivity involved and I could care less how small or large anyone is"

I believe you meant you couldn't care less (an odd mistake for someone whose screen name includes the word "writer" ), but your recognition of sensitivity is not well supported by your saying this:

"Stop with the "compassion" whine."

What is it, exactly, that you think you are doing with this post? 

 

Updated On: 4/26/18 at 12:56 AM

[vanbrig]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 12:59am

EthelMae said: "You got me on that one. I'm used to getting into arguments these days at the theatre regarding cell phone texting, talking and thinking it's a good time to rummage through your bag during a performance. Not to mention constantly looking at your Playbill and watch (does anyone still wear a watch?) through the performance-happened to me at Dolly the other night."

You mean making a big deal out of looking at their watch or literally just looking their watch? Because honestly, if someone next to me looked at their watch and it didn't have a light and they didn't make a huge scene out of lifting their arm/sleeve or whatever, I seriously doubt I would even notice. 

haterobics said: "Once the sexual musk of someone's pheromones triggers you, there is no way to stop them, except to comply."

That was beautiful.

[Miles2Go2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 1:11am

While I love the experience of seeing shows in these historic theaters, I have faced obstacles due to the lack of legroom. I’m 6’2” (mostly legs) and have bad knees. I’ve written on here before about the extreme pain this put me through during Hamilton and the last revival of Cabaret.

With Cabaret I was lucky to get a ticket through TKTS for rear mezzanine (it was when Emma Stone was in it so it was selling very well). It’s the only time (I was mid-Row) that I got up in the middle of a performance (Act 1) to stand in the entryway. I was mortified, but I was in extreme (knee) pain to the point of tears and I just couldn’t bare it anymore. This is apparently a common predicament at Studio 54 as the ushers were very understanding at intermission. They’d already given away their folding chairs to two other guys in similar situations. But one of the guys actually had an aisle seat (I think he may also have had issues with that seat due to how tiny it was) so they were able to reseat me there for Act 2. I learned a lesson though - no more rear mezzanine at Studio 54. In fact, I haven’t seen a show there again.

With Hamilton, through a hotel concierge a friend and I managed to get last row rear mezzanine seats for Hamilton OBC (except Groff was out shooting the Looking finale movie so we got Rannells - he was awesome) in November 2015. Even with these bad seats, we ended up paying 6 times face value (the top our budget would allow) so better seats were not an option. I was also in pain during almost the entire show due to almost zero legroom. Since it was sold out, asking to be reseated wasn’t an option. I feel for the stranger on my right as I kept trying to covertly twist my legs to get some intermittent relief. It’s a testament to the show that despite that experience, it became (and still is) my favorite show. That didn’t stop me from being very glad when intermission came and I could stand. I was in Chicago this last November and was able to see Hamilton again from an Orchestra seat and was able to engage so much more with the show when I wasn’t in pain.

So I’d suggest seeing if there are other seats available to you if you’re that uncomfortable. I know for me I usually try to get aisle seats now. I also try to get Orchestra seats. I find Orchestra seats usually have more legroom so aisle seats aren’t as necessary. I know these recommendations won’t all help the OP and there was no possibility of re-seating at intermission at TTW as it doesn’t have one, correct?

BTW, I plan to see TTW in June on my 7-night/8 show trip. I was under impression that TTW is listed frequently at TKTS and often available for same day box office tickets. Based on OP’s post, is that not the case?

[EthelMae]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 1:42am

vanbrig: In my particular case, the man to my left was checking his Playbill frequently as well as checking his watch frequently. The watch didn't have a light but peripherally it was disturbing. Not to mention that we were in the first row center of the Orchestra. The actors can see you. I guess he was bored or was a fidgety type. But all I kept thinking was what was he so restless about? As Sophia Petrillo once said, "what? You have a pressing engagement with a cheesecake?!"

[EllieRose2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 2:58am

That's so gross and I'm so sorry.  I would be pissed too.  I would ask them to move or ask the house manager if there was another night I could come.  You have every right to be upset, and the obesity problem in this country is out of control.  The statistics are unreal. If you are so fat that you cannot fit into one seat, then purchase another one. Just like an airline seat.  If you are spilling into another seat, and ruining someone else's experience, you should be horrified and make it point for it to not ever happen again. I'm direct and blunt, and no, I'm not sorry for my opinion.  So sorry for your experience!

 I don't let it bother me because it's absurd to let it bother you."

Sorry, you don't get to judge someone being upset, considering you are such a trolling b i t c h on this website.  Byeeeeeeeeeeee.

Updated On: 4/26/18 at 02:58 AM

[PatrickDC]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 3:24am

EllieRose2 said: "That's so gross and I'm so sorry. I would be pissed too. I would ask them to move or ask the house manager if there was another night I could come. You have every right to be upset, and the obesity problem in this country is out of control and unreal. If you are so fat that you cannot fit into one seat, then purchase another one.Just like an airline seat. I'm direct and blunt, and no, I'm not sorry for my opinion. So sorry for your experience!

I don't let it bother me because it's absurd to let it bother you."

Sorry, you don't get to judge someone being upset, considering you are such a trolling b i t c h on this website. Byeeeeeeeeeeee."

The difference of course is that airplane armrests raise and lower enabling an obese person to purchase two seats. Theater seats don’t work the same way but new theaters may need to be designed so the arms can raise.

This thread hits home. I used to be obese. Ok, still have a bit to loose but I’ve shed 70 pounds in the past two years and have to say, sitting in theaters and on planes is such a pleasant experience now. In fact I talked about this in my Kaiser weight loss class, about the first time I was able to cross my legs in a narrow theater aisle. I know being obese is a struggle and the mind games of thinking what everyone is thinking about me and my weight. It’s not easy to lose it, but one of my main passions — theater — is much more enjoyable now. 

[EllieRose2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 3:28am

"The difference of course is that airplane armrests raise and lower enabling an obese person to purchase two seats. Theater seats don’t work the same way but new theaters may need to be designed so the arms can raise."

You are totally right, I retract my idea.  I truly hope they redesign theater seats and honestly, as the obesity epidemic gets worse, they will pretty much have to do this.  Or maybe they can make extra large seats for obese people. 

Congratulations on your weight loss, and I'm very happy that the theater experience is way better, for all involved.  

[RussT2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 5:56am

As a formerly very large person, I didn't go to Broadway for years because at my biggest I was 485 pounds and there was no way I would fit into fixed armchair seats at any Broadway house. Then I discovered that most all Broadway theaters have a few aisle seats called "transfer seats" which means the arm on the aisle can actually be raised up completely so a person can slide into and out of them easier. This solved my problem so I was able to see shows again because I didn't have to worry about fitting. 2 years ago I have gastric sleeve surgery and I'm down to 235 so now I can sit in any seat at any Broadway show (it's so weird to actually fit and not worry about not fitting in!) but i feel for the OP because I've been in the shoes of the person he was sitting next to. OP did not in my opinion say anything bad about the person he was seated next to and in fact he showed a lot of compassion and didn't blame the man, he blamed the situation itself. Even the part about the man's scent. Perhaps the man DID have a strong smell? I would sweat a lot when I was obese and perspiration can cause a strong scent. I'm siding with OP here. He did or said nothing wrong and seemed like he was a gentleman about the whole ordeal.

[adam.peterson44]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 6:42am

In response to the OPs question about what can be done if it happens again: 

When i went to see Streetcar at the Broadhurst, i was in a rear orchestra seat which had a curved seat in front of it that was pressing into my knees in an extremely painful way.  I arrived about 15 minutes early, and after sitting there for 5 minutes, i realized that i was already in so much pain, i would never be able to get through the whole show that way.  I was prepared to walk away and lose the ticket money, since the show was sold out and i didn't see any other option like aisle seats, but figured i might as well ask the house manager if anything could be done to assist me before giving up and walking out completely.  It turned out that the box seats were not counted in the "sold out" description for that show, because they didn't sell them to people in advance, but used them for exactly the kind of on-the-spot situations that sometimes arise.  They seated me in a box seat, and although i couldn't see the staircase where the famous "Stella!" scene took place, i could see a lot of the rest of it. 

Maybe if a show is nominally sold out, a box seat might still be available, or as others have said, sometimes they have stand-alone chairs in the back for people with either size or accessibility issues that they can offer.  So the general strategy would be to ask a house manager for help (ask an usher to direct you to a house manager). Some theatres also have standing room spots that might not be sold even if the seats are.  Sometimes they have options that aren't obvious to the theatregoers unless they ask for help. 

Also, sometimes sitting forward in the seat gives your arms side space in front of your neighbor's arms so that both of you can lower your arms.  Perhaps you could alternate crossing your arms in front of you with scootching forward a bit when you want to shift your arm positions, and then scootch back again if you need more back support again.   

The odor issue is harder, because even if someone bathes daily and uses deodorant, some people still won't like how they smell.  Our local theatres all have scent-free policies, which means that you can't use body spray or cologne to try to mask your human odor (whatever amount of it gets through the soap and deodorant odours).  I would think that in the unlucky case where someone is sensitive to a nearby scent, whether of the person or of their cologne or anything else, the above suggestions re: asking for help with re-seating should apply reasonably to those situations as well.   It is tricky because some people will complain when you do wear a scent, and others when you don't, so there isn't a one-scent-pleases-all solution that one can deploy, assuming they are already doing the daily bathing-and-deodorant thing.

[henrikegerman]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 6:44am

George&Dot, I can't for the life of me understand why you are so intent as framing the issue here as one of hostile bigotry or a lack of compassion.   That's not what the concern is at all.  And no one is expressing the concern that way.  Everyone on this thread has been kind and considerate in addressing their concerns.  But those concerns are real one.

The concern is a level of basic comfort while watching a show and is it fair to expect that from an experience at the theatre (or at the movies, or on an airplane, etc.).  And as been said many times, it's an issue for all parties involved, not only the person sitting next to a larger person whose body extends into their space, but for that large person themself, as well as to any person sitting next to the first person who might be experiencing a domino extension.

The fact that things like this happen and are annoying is simply that - a fact.
Ignoring it might be intended to show compassion or respect for the larger person.   But would it really show compassion or respect for the larger person?  Or would it instead simply treat them in an infantilized category of non-adults who can't cope with unfortunate realities?
If I were morbidly obese, I wouldn't want to spill into someone else's chair causing discomfort for both myself and my neighbor.  i'd want a comfortable seat (and btw I would not accept having to pay more for it).

Have we gotten so anxious about telling the truth that we shy away from it only because it runs the risks of even giving the appearance of showing a lack of feeling?  That certain topics can't even be addressed even when the person who wants to address them takes great pains to preemptively indemnify themself against  every knee-jerk and myopic charge of bigotry and insensitivity by persuasively explaining that that kind of hostilty is not at all what is motivating their complaint?
 

Updated On: 4/26/18 at 06:44 AM

[gypsy101]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 6:57am

so basically overweight people shouldn’t be allowed to go to the theater these days? that’s what it seems like a lot of people in this thread would prefer

[dramamama611]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 6:57am

Amen, Henrik. 

And no, that's not what most people are saying. In fact, very few are.

 

I sympathize with the op....I've been there ,  too.  And yes  your own personal comfort is important. Part of my claustrophobia involved being uncomfortable being touched by people I don't know.  

Updated On: 4/26/18 at 06:57 AM

[newintown]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 7:43am

Oh, right - it's about time we had that old obesity conversation again.

This board really does run on a cycle, doesn't it?

[GeorgeandDot]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 7:45am

The thing that rubbed me the wrong way was how the OP played into stereotypes about the overweight community. That they smell or are narcissistic or that they always seem to just be trying to ruin everyone else's experience. I can empathize with you, but at the same time, you chose to sit there fuming at them the whole time. There's nothing to be done in this situation. The house was sold out and that's just how it is.

EllieRose2, I'm not a troll on these boards because I said that you frequently act extremely immature (an example of which is your last post). Yes, the obesity problem in America is crazy, which is largely due to poverty and mental illness, so please keep that in mind. No one is overweight just because they like food and hate to exercise. Many of these people are severely depressed and even treat it as somewhat of a long term suicide. I can't imagine being the kind of monster who would turn to anyone and tell them that their situation, which they have no control over in the moment, is deeply upsetting to you. It's not being blunt or honest, it makes you a deeply narcissistic person.

"Byeeeeeeeee" frickin high schooler.

[Dancingthrulife2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 8:18am

Just look up how many seats a theater has 20 years ago and how many the same theater has now, and you'll see who you should REALLY blame.

[Dancingthrulife2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 8:21am

Also, the legroom of Vivian Beaumont's orchestra seats (never sat in the mezz) are basically "yogia," as one of the nyt article calls it. It made the MFL revival so much less enjoyable despite my best effort to avoid thinking about the pain.

[Impossible2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 8:25am

I'm not fat but I workout a lot so my shoulders are super broad. I always try and get an aisle seat and most times even take a seat further back so I don't cause anyone else discomfort. But at Band's Visit the only thing I could get was dead centre which was a fantastic seat but the people on either side of me were both pretty 'large' so the 3 of us were extremely uncomfortable for an hour and 40 minutes.

It also depends on the theatre and the seats they have. It is no problem at some and a big problem at others.

 

[newintown]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:09am

GeorgeandDot wrote: "No one is overweight just because they like food and hate to exercise."

Now, that, kids, is a bald-faced lie right there.

[Impossible2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:15am

newintown said: "GeorgeandDot wrote: "No one is overweight just because they like food and hate to exercise."

Now, that, kids, is a bald-faced lie right there."

Yeah I'm a little skeptical on that one too lol

[CT2NYC]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:17am

newintown said: "GeorgeandDot wrote: "No one is overweight just because they like food and hate to exercise."

Now, that, kids, is a bald-faced lie right there."

It's not so much a lie as it is complete ignorance of reality. It just might be the most misguided statement I've seen on this board.

[GeorgeandDot]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:19am

No it's not. There's always an underlying reason for why they find some sort of comfort in food. Most people are overweight due to depression or anxiety or another kind of mental illness. There has to be a reason why someone is overweight and it has to be something more than just love of food. It's deeply self destructive behavior that is almost a kind of self harm. These people struggle on a daily basis because society treats them with such a lack of compassion and understanding. I have a friend and she's about 285 and I see how the world treats her. She's not depressed because she's overweight, she's overweight because she's depressed and that's the case for most people.

[newintown]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:22am

No. Most overweight Americans are overweight because they eat too much, they eat unhealthy food, and they don't get enough exercise.

Updated On: 4/26/18 at 09:22 AM

[ClumsyDude15]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:25am

I'm a larger guy and I have definitely felt the sting of being in a very uncomfortable position seating wise, but I definitely am much more hygienic than whomever the OP sat next to. I always try and get an aisle if at all possible or sit somewhere where there's a decent amount of leg room. Whenever I do sit in a row where I'm more toward the center, I always try and make sure I'm not being that person the OP mentioned. Sadly, sometimes it's harder than others, but I've never had an issue [that I'm aware of] similar to what the OP went through. I definitely would have seen the house manager or gauged the area around and found an open seat because that way you could control the situation at hand. 

[Impossible2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:27am

newintown said: "No. Most overweight Americans are overweight because they eat too much, they eat unhealthy food, and they don't get enough exercise."

And the portion sizes are just absolutely ridiculous.

[GeorgeandDot]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:33am

Yes, but they choose to live that way. There's a reason that they do. It's a more nuanced situation than just "fat people eat too much and don't exercise." Why? Why don't they just eat healthy and exercise? It seems really easy. Part of it is that healthy food is more expensive and harder to find. That's a bit of a weak argument to me, but I still understand. Healthier food, especially in the City, is more expensive and less convenient. I'm more interested in the emotional situation of the individual and why they choose one over the other. Some would say laziness. I don't really believe in laziness. There some lazy people, but most lazy behavior stems from anxiety of some sort. It's usually more of an irrational fear than it is just flat out laziness. Why don't overweight people go for walks? Maybe because people are cruel and they're scared of the cruelty. Maybe they want to do anything that will shorten their lifespan. This may not even be a conscious choice, but I can imagine that someone who is 400 pounds and doesn't eat healthy and doesn't exercise must have a death wish. There's a reason for everything. Nothing is so simple as them just not wanting to exercise or eat healthy.