When Someone Overflows Onto Your Seat & Ruins The Show?- Page 3

[newintown]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:39am

"Nothing is so simple as them just not wanting to exercise or eat healthy."

Except it is. We have the word "inertia" for a reason.

[Impossible2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:41am

It was more the 'no one' portion of your post that we are not believing.

I'm a yo-yoer and while I have never been FAT FAT, if I don't exercise I put on weight which I do from time to time. But I know I am getting fatter because I am being lazy and make a conscious choice that I just don't care at that particular time. But it really is for no other reason than that I am just too lazy and can't be arsed to workout.

[greenifyme2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:42am

I don’t really understand how this got so far away from the initial post. OP was sharing an experience and asking about what they could have done/could do in the future, should a similar issue arise again. This didn’t need to turn into a debate on the obesity issue in America.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:44am

You've been here a year, this is what happens to most threads.

[GeorgeandDot]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:47am

Yes, back to the topic at hand. If the show isn't sold out, privately and respectfully speak to an user about switching seats.

As for the "no one" comment, I really meant people who are a hundred to two hundred pounds overweight. No one is like that simply due to love of food. There are contributing factors as to why they love food.

[BuddyStarr]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:50am

to the OP, I have felt your pain. One of the things I've found that I have a little control over is scents. I don't use colognes or scented detergent because the scents give me a headache which ends up being a catch-22 because there are a lot of people out there over spraying cologne.  To try and combat the headaches and smells I bring a small jar of a balm (I bought it at a store in Rockefeller Center).  It's like lip balm but you put it under your nose so it blocks out the smell from strong cologne or BO.  I think so morticians use  vicks to block the smell.  It's something that you can do yourself to control your space. 

It also seemed that the OP was holding his arm to the other side to also not make that person on his side more uncomfortable by jamming it against his side which unfortunately make him sorer. I have done this so I am out of someone's space as much as I can.  

[greenifyme2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:50am

Sad. There’s so much good info on here, and then... this. I also read Reddit daily and overall the community is so much kinder over there (but they don’t have the theater info I seek). It’s such a stark difference. Maybe it’s because the mods are so active and the basic “be kind to one another” is enforced, but come on, all. Stick to the topic and stop throwing the table upside down on every little thing. I noticed Margo eventually got driven away for this kind of behavior at least...

[greenifyme2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:53am

BuddyStarr said: " I bring a small jar of a balm (I bought it at a store in Rockefeller Center). It's like lip balm but you put it under your nose so it blocks out the smell from strong cologne or BO. I think so morticians use vicks to block the smell. It's something that you can do yourself to control your space.
 

This is such a good tip! I am totally going to get some of this, certainly would come in useful in this city.

 

[everythingtaboo]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 9:55am

How about these theatre owners stop making the seats narrower and narrower every time they renovation the theatres. They barely accommodate a person with a normal BMI, much less anyone like myself who is obese. Now I'm one of those who do to great pains to get an aisle for myself, but if I can't, I take great pains to keep myself within my area, and am usually successful, but I then more often than not I have to deal with the skinnier person trying to "stake their claim" by pushing into my space in response! 

[newintown]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:05am

"I also read Reddit daily and overall the community is so much kinder over there (but they don’t have the theater info I seek). It’s such a stark difference. Maybe it’s because the mods are so active and the basic “be kind to one another” is enforced, but come on, all. Stick to the topic and stop throwing the table upside down on every little thing."

Good luck with trying to enforce your definition of "nice" or "kind" on everyone else, as well as dictating where the discussion "should" or "should not" go.

[robskynyc]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:09am

Well, since America is the obesity capital of the world, the should have special seats for obese people. Or make them buy 2 seats like they do on airplanes. Why should others be inconvenienced because are overweight? I agree 100% with everyone on here who echoes the sentiment that we paid good money, so we are entitled to comfort in our seat. It’s not about being an asshole, but why should I suffer at the theatre?

[greenifyme2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:16am

newintown said: ""I also read Reddit daily and overall the community is so much kinder over there (but they don’t have the theater info I seek). It’s such a stark difference. Maybe it’s because the mods are so active and the basic “be kind to one another” is enforced, but come on, all. Stick to the topic and stop throwing the table upside down on every little thing."

Good luck with trying to enforce your definition of "nice" or "kind" on everyoneelse, as well as dictating where the discussion "should" or "should not" go."

Thanks!

 

[vanbrig]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:19am

EthelMae said: "vanbrig: In my particular case, the man to my left was checking his Playbill frequently as well as checking his watch frequently. The watch didn't have a light but peripherally it was disturbing. Not to mention that we were in the first row center of the Orchestra. The actors can see you. I guess he was bored or was a fidgety type. But all I kept thinking was what was he so restless about? As Sophia Petrillo once said, "what? You have a pressing engagement with a cheesecake?!""

Fair enough. Constantly checking your watch AND your Playbill while right in front of the actors would be a lot more distracting than just discreetly checking the time once or twice during the show. 

[Gizmo6]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:30am

I’ve often seem people on this board attack people and use mental health diagnoses as a weapon.

Nobody eats themselves to such an extent that life becomes unbearable and they cannot for in a seat.

We should have empathy for them it’s a medical condition and in some cases a disability.

On another thread about representation imagine being the big kid and never seeing your self represented or still in 2018 being the butt of the joke. Or just not being able to walk into a regular store and be told we don’t have your size here.

Perhaps theatres should make venues accessible for all patrons.

[ScottyDoesn'tKnow2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:41am

This thread is BWW's version of "no fats, no femmes".

[Rainah]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:47am

It sucks because it's very much not the fault of the person beside you that they're large - as everyone's noted, they have to be feeling much worse. But it's also not fair to you. I don't know what to do. Perhaps speak to a house manager in a non blaming way? Like, "It's not their fault but this is the situation and I am unable to enjoy the play, what can be done?" Perhaps they could give you another seat or a ticket to a later show.

[BenjaminNicholas2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:48am

The same thing happens on airplanes.  America has no self-control and everyone is now expected to accept obesity as the new normal.  It's not.  

I'd have bolted and talked to the house manager about swapping for another performance.  A fat person should realize how tightly packed broadway houses are and pick their seat accordingly.  If you know you're going to spill into the seat next to you, go the Southwest Airlines route and buy two seats.

And to the fat apologists here:  6% of fat folks can blame genetics.  Most of them eat or sit it on.  Self-control is tough, but damned if they don't practice any.

[CT2NYC]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:52am

Rainah said: "It sucks because it's very much not the fault of the person beside you that they're large- as everyone's noted, they have to be feeling much worse. But it's also not fair to you. I don't know what to do. Perhaps speak to a house manager in a non blaming way? Like, "It's not their fault but this is the situation and I am unable to enjoy the play, what can be done?" Perhaps they could give you another seat or a ticket to a later show."

SOMETIMES, it is their fault, and, SOMETIMES, they don't feel much worse, SOMETIMES, they just don't care. Why do people insist on making blanket statements that couldn't possibly be true all of the time?

[JSquared2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:55am

ScottyDoesn'tKnow2 said: "This thread is BWW's version of "no fats, no femmes"."

If it's "no femmes", then BWW has clearly lost that battle long ago!!

[Miles2Go2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 10:59am

BenjaminNicholas2 said: "The same thing happens on airplanes. America has no self-control and everyone is now expected to accept obesity as the new normal. It's not.


And to the fat apologists here: 6% of fat folks can blame genetics. Most of them eat or sit it on. Self-control is tough, but damned if they don't practice any."

Yeah self-control is difficult. Like controlling the urge to allow trolly comments that generalize groups of people as all being the same (but damned if they don't practice any) to drip from one’s fingertips out into the blogosphere. 

Updated On: 4/26/18 at 10:59 AM

[ScottyDoesn'tKnow2]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 11:29am

I don't believe that anybody is completely wrong here. Self-harm by way of smoking cigarettes, drinking too much, eating too much, and other unhealthy behavior is often a way of therapy for people facing anxiety, depression, and facing hardships. That said, those things in of themselves are addicting and marketed to exploit people most vulnerable to partake in those activities. There's also something in our food that's different than it used to be and it does make people fatter. We also aren't conscious of things like calorie intake and how many calories are in our portions and food until most get older and have to climb up the hill in their battle at healthy weight maintenance as maintaining is often much more difficult than losing. We are actually conditioned to think a big mac, large fries, and a large coke is a normal dinner portion sized meal when it's like 1,000 more calories in that one meal than we should be eating if one were to stick to a 3-meal day (though eating multiple smaller meals is said to be better). 

Vice did a story recently about how American fast food as taken over Kuwait and is causing an obesity epidemic there. I really do think it's the food itself that is processed in a way that makes people bigger than the food humans ate in the past, availability and access to kinds of food, the addictive qualities of certain cheap foods, and life now that has made food more readily available mixed with our sedentary life than we have lived historically (though hard labor still exists), and how its marketed that all contributes to the obesity epidemic. Add in life being really hard for people, people suffering more from the side effects of depression, anxiety, etc. 

I know it's simply easier to blame individuals for their lifestyle choices and eating habits and I'm not taking responsibility away from individuals, but since it is such an epidemic that is harming a big proportion of our population, then obviously there's a lot more to it than just people being lazy. It's part of society and how people are conditioned and fed as a whole and it will take society (and not shame) to make changes and solve the problem.

Updated On: 4/26/18 at 11:29 AM

[Lot666]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 11:33am

wolfwriter said: "GeorgeandDot said: "No, because there's nothing to be done about it, so you can either except it or be a huge a-hole and make a scene. There's nothing to be mad about. The person can't lose 20 pounds by curtain. There's nothing to be done. Unless the person smells, I don't really care how close we are. Maybe because I grew up in New York and I'm used to being jammed next to strangers. Either way a little compassion is always good and I often feel like overweight people are one of the last few groups that it's still socially acceptable to openly hold a prejudice against."

First off, the person had an odor, which I stated, but was not mean about. This is not a 20 pound issue. This was a 400 pound person, maybe more, who was with an equally large person. Stop with the "compassion" whine. I didn't insult anyone's weight and I don't really care what anyone looks like. But, when I have to physically hold my left arm across my body with my right arm for an hour and 45 minutes,because there is nowhere to put it down next to me, that's a problem, not to mention I have a painful left bicep strain and this didn't help.

I grew up here, too and I have never had an experience like this. It used to be that people would be self-aware and, as haterobics said, shown fellow audience members some thoughtfulness and purchased an aisle seat. But, the narcissism that has taken over, shielded underthe PC guise of not mentioning something unpleasant is more than distasteful."

wolfwriter, I agree with you completely. The person next to you paid for THEIR seat, not their seat + 1/3 of YOURS. You paid for your whole seat, not 2/3 of it. GeorgeandDot's argument is like saying the family in the apartment next to yours has grown, so they have a right to bust through the shared wall and move their new child into your apartment.

When we saw Anastasia, my husband was seated next to a very large, sweaty man who overflowed considerably into my husband's seat. By intermission, his clothes on his left side were all damp from his neighbor's sweating body being pressed against him for an hour. My husband ended up watching the second act from the SRO area at the back of the theatre. I don't think it's fair that we paid full price for those seats.

[Lot666]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 11:39am

GeorgeandDot said: "You clearly hate this person just because of who they are."

You're way out of line.

[GeorgeandDot]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 11:44am

No that's not my argument. I'm just saying that the OP shouldn't have let this situation that he had no control over ruin his evening. If the show isn't sold out, ask to move. If it is, I'm sorry that these theatres are trying to cram as many people as possible into these theatres with little regard for human dimensions and then charging you an absurd amount of money for your tickets. There's just nothing to be done and it sucks for you and it sucks for the people around you. Don't be rude about it because you don't know that person and you don't know their situation. The sweating part is ridiculous though, sorry about that.

I'm not out of line about that comment by the way.  This person made all kinds of generalizations and nasty comments that suggested that they already had a fat prejudice before even stepping into the theatre.  I'm not attacking them, just pointing out an observation that I made from their post.

Tobias, I'm sorry that this has hurt you in some way.  Please don't leave.  Some people just can't put themselves in the shoes of others.

Updated On: 4/26/18 at 11:44 AM

[Charley Kringas Inc]

Posted: 4/26/18 at 12:41pm

The OP should've asked for a different seat or accepted that the theater is a social occasion and not everybody's brains are housed in bodies you might find acceptable. A fat person who can't afford two seats or is unable to buy an aisle seat should...be banned from seeing the show? As for the "reasons" of obesity, it's rarely as dully simple as too much food and not enough exercise, because that's ignoring all the experiences that produce a person's personality. Are they overworked? Are they stressed? I know so many people who suffer endlessly from things that could be fixed with decent wages and decent hours, and not to mention basic therapy, which would provide them a better framework for managing their emotions and thoughts. So maybe they spend too much on frivolous things, or they shut themselves away socially, or they drink too much, or they get into fights online, or they fall into obsessions, or they eat too much. You add the predatory junk food industry, the way most people live places and work places they have to drive to and from. You add the way fat people are belittled, shamed, and mocked at all turns - a fat person is bad because they're fat, and fat because they're bad. A fat person is stupid, greedy, lazy, smelly, sloppy, mean. And now they can't go see an Edward Albee show.

Have a little ****ing empathy.