Going from Fan to Friend (Is it possible?)

[gleek4114]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 4:33pm

This is just something I thought about recently. Repeat attending is so common these days, and I know actors get to know those fans little by little after so many visits. So I was just curious to know if anyone has gone from a fan of someone to their friend in someway. Also I know all about the fan delusions that come along with this (the fan sees the relationship as something completely different than the performer). Also what are your thoughts on social media playing any role? I feel that social media can extend further communication between performers and their fans, but just because so and so followed you back doesn't mean anything. So yeah, just curious to hear different takes, weather it's just your opinion or if you're speaking from personal experience. 

[Alexander Lamar]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 4:35pm

No.

And also:

No, you're not friends with Ben Platt just because he retweeted your tweet to him saying how much you love him.

[BroadwayConcierge]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 4:37pm

This isn't Broadway-related, but your question reminded me of this story from a while back: http://hollywoodlife.com/2016/01/20/jake-t-austin-fangirl-girlfriend-danielle-ceasar-dating-confirmed/

[mozgrrl]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 4:42pm

I think it's definitely possible and social media makes it a lot easier to connect. Plus, I don't see anything wrong with it on either the performer or the fan side. Not speaking from personal experience, but I don't see why it can't happen.

[JBroadway]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 4:46pm

It can happen. Any two people can theoretically become friends under the right circumstances. A celebrity’s fan could get cast in one of their shows and become their friend,

it’s just that trying to make it happen through the stage door is usually not healthy for either party, and many people think they are friends with actors when they aren’t.

[ggersten]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 4:50pm

 

[dramamama611]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 5:26pm

While anything is possible, I would think this is highly unlikely.   If, as JBroadway suggests, they end up working together, then it's not really becoming friends FROM being a fan - it's as colleagues.   Jonathan Groff talks about that - he is quite gracious to his fans at SD, because he used to do so as well.  

 

And btw, there is a story (maybe from here?) about a avid fan door junkie of Spring Awakening that was pretty far into the audition process - and "supposedly" was taken OUT of consideration when other actors discussed her behavior at the stage door.   (True story?  I do not know - but I remember it being pretty hot topic for a while)

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 5:31pm

I have "friended" a few Broadway stars on Facebook and ended up chatting with them on various topics, but it's not like they're inviting me to Thanksgiving or anything (though Nancy Opel's response to my Thanksgiving Persimmon Pie question was the BEST).

[binau]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 5:46pm

My theory would be unless the star is some kind of narcissist a friendship will almost never happen if there is a clear power indifference (stage-door type fan to star). To become friends you'd need to balance this power difference (e.g., working together; meeting outside the context of a fan/star setting). 

[akmiller_98]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 5:53pm

I think it's highly unlikely that it will happen if you try to make it happen. It's always possible that you may end up at a party (or something like that ) with someone you admire. When you live in a place like New York, you end being friends with people that are in all kinds of industries, so you never know who you will meet.  I met a broadway actor at a bar back in '98. I wasn't a fan of his, just a fan of broadway. (He wasn't at all famous.) I was there with my sister. He and I started talking and then exchanged numbers. We emailed a lot and went on a few dates and then it fizzled out. We were super-young and it was long distance. I'm sure if we ran into each other now, we'd be friendly though.

[ahhrealmonsters]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 6:12pm

This is a topic that I find fascinating for whatever reason, and I've seen it happen. I haven't been to a stage door in years, so I don't really know social media's role. My encounters with people who have become friends from being fans are from Rent, which was 10+ years ago, and the show was its own beast at the time. Rentheads (full disclosure: I was a teenage Renthead) would see the show multiple times and get to know the actors. I know people who've dated, slept with, become friends with, & worked with actors from knowing them at the stage door. I don't know if it was a show-specific thing...there's also something to be said about how most Rent actors were generally only in Rent and didn't have many other Broadway/NY theatre credits. I'm not talking about the OBC - replacements in the early/mid 2000s. gleek4114, feel free to message me - this is obviously a topic about which I have quite a bit to say.

[Impeach2017]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 6:15pm

I think it's called stalking.  

[Dollypop]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 6:22pm

Yes, it's possible. I have several genuine friends who I met at the stage door. These are the kinds of friends who I go out with and who have been to my home.

I'm not saying any more and I'm not making names, but it can happen
 

Updated On: 12/20/17 at 06:22 PM

[bowtie7]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 7:03pm

this is the plot of the musical Always...Patsy Cline

 

http://alwayspatsycline.net/synopsis.html

[broadwaysfguy]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 7:17pm

of course its possible and i know of numerous cases
friendship is an exchange of value
to go from fan to friend you have to offer something that is of value to the other person
through your friendship
being a fan is a commodity for most successful performers and will not likely be the basis of value to form a friendship

[Call_me_jorge]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 7:22pm

Is it wrong of me to have immediately thought of James Barbour?

[amandawrites]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 8:22pm

gleek4114 said: "This is just something I thought about recently. Repeat attending is so common these days, and I know actors get to know those fans little by little after so many visits. So I was just curious to know if anyone has gone from a fan of someone to their friend in someway. Also I know all about the fan delusions that come along with this (the fan sees the relationship as something completely different than the performer). Also what are your thoughts on social media playing any role? I feel that social media can extend further communication between performers and their fans, but just because so and so followed you back doesn't mean anything. So yeah, just curious to hear different takes, weather it's just your opinion or if you're speaking from personal experience."

Every person is different, but I think it's certainly possible to develop friendships that first meet as a fan/performer interaction. As others have mentioned, it's probably the most likely among those who pursue a career in theatre and eventually become colleagues with their favorites. I think, among younger performers at least, it's also possible that they become "Internet friends" - not someone you'd invite over for the holidays, but someone whom you have nice conversations with beyond a liked tweet or something. 

On the other hand, there's definitely fans who claim to be "friends" with performers but are more like stalkers, or who can't find the nuance between "friendly" and "friends." 

At the risk of being self-promoting, I actually wrote a little bit about this fan-perfomer relationship, especially as it relates to understudies and to social media, in an article for BWW last week. If you care to see: https://www.broadwayworld.com/article/BWW-Exclusive-At-This-Performance-The-Rise-Of-The-Broadway-Understudy-20171215

Updated On: 12/19/17 at 08:22 PM

[dearalanaaaa]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 10:30pm

I know somebody who did, they saw Falsettos revival last year, met Anthony Rosenthal at the door, saw him again in smaller shows he was in, and met him at the flea again. They DMed a bit on Instagram because she runs an account dedicated to him, then they kissed (photo evidence). It's definitely possible, they still talk too!

[poisonivy2]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 10:49pm

Definitely possible to become acquaintances. I've "friended" some dancers and singers on Facebook, and ended up FB messaging them and talking and whatnot. But they aren't my friends. I'd never ask for their phone number, email address, etc. But we will chat on FB messenger and it's not just "omg you were so great." But as I said, boundaries. I respect them. I don't pretend that these are anything more than very casual acquaintances I occasionally talk to on FB.

[Tom5]

Posted: 12/19/17 at 10:56pm

No..Except there is one remarkable exception and probably the only one: Carol Burnett and Vicki Lawrence. Anyone not aware should check out their story.

[leighmiserables]

Posted: 12/20/17 at 1:47am

Common? No. Possible? Yes, definitely.

Personally, I've been in contact with one of the original members of the Broadway FUN HOME cast for over two years now. Granted, best friends we are not, but we still interact on a regular basis with no allusions whatsoever to the fact I met them after standing at a freezing cold stage door for an hour.

Only example I can think of is a girl I follow on Twitter, who's developed a genuine friendship with most of the SPRING AWAKENING revival cast (and all of them at the very least know her). She didn't even see the show a million times to do so—she made (of all things) a meme fan account for the show, where she'd constantly tag the cast members in her posts. I remember the progression of things quite clearly; at first the cast members would just like/retweet the posts, then comment on them, and next thing you knew she was seeing the show and got to privately meet with them all backstage. To this day they're all still regularly bantering like old friends on twitter, and I know she talks with a few of them outside social media often. (I'm not saying her name to protect her privacy.)

Also, not exactly the same thing, but the example made me think of it—Andy Mientus got his first ever professional job in the 1st National Tour of SPRING AWAKENING because he made a fanpage that got so popular that the producers contacted him and made it the official SPRING AWAKENING Facebook page, and through the relationship he cultivated with them managed to secure an audition for the show.

That being said, I think anyone who makes a conscious effort to try and befriend actors is doomed for failure; these things happen naturally and any sort of pushiness is more likely to just scare the performer away, imo.

Updated On: 12/20/17 at 01:47 AM

[Rainah]

Posted: 12/20/17 at 7:15am

It's possible, just not likely. And especially unlikely if you're 'trying' to be friends with the actor.

[Lot666]

Posted: 12/20/17 at 7:53am

Of course it's possible. Several years ago, I met and became friends with (not "stage door acquaintances" with) one of the principals in a major Broadway show. Over the years, we have gotten together for coffee, drinks, lunch, or dinner almost every time I visit New York. On various occasions, this individual has offered to pick me up from the airport and drive me to my hotel, and even invited me to stay in their home (while I appreciate these gestures, I have never taken advantage of them). We are friends on social media and maintain contact via text, email, and phone.

Friendship can sprout anywhere.

Updated On: 12/20/17 at 07:53 AM

[dramamama611]

Posted: 12/20/17 at 7:56am

^ But that's the very point most of us are making: you didn't go from stage door fan to friend.  You happen to meet and become friends.....having little to do with fandom or the stage door.

[Lot666]

Posted: 12/20/17 at 8:01am

dramamama611 said: "^ But that's the very point most of us are making: you didn't go from stage door fan to friend. You happen to meet and become friends.....having little to do with fandom or the stage door."

I did meet this person as a fan. We first met in the lobby of the theatre, when they were collecting for BCEFA. I was very impressed by their performance and wanted to tell them so. We had an instant rapport and our friendship grew from there.