Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members — Page 46

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#1126

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/16/06 at 3:58pm

I'm still inclined to believe half the stories on here are bullsh*t just made up to have something to contribute to the thread. Some of these are just too out there to be true.

I got rid of my teeth at a young age because... I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them

#1127

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/16/06 at 4:02pm

Well, they're still fun to read even if they are.

"This table, he is over one hundred years old. If I could, I would take an old gramophone needle and run it along the surface of the wood. To hear the music of the voices. All that was said." - Doug Wright, I Am My Own Wife

#1128

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/16/06 at 5:43pm

Okay, well, I'm going to just go right out there and say that this was me who said this. Sometimes I have "blonde moments" and this was one of them. And btw, this has nothing to do with NYC or being a tourist, but it's a pretty stupid question, and hopefully will make you laugh.

So a preview for the movie "We are Marshall" came on when I was with a bunch of friends, and we were only half-watching the television. And they were talking about the movie and I wasn't familiar with it, so I was like "Wait, what's the movie about?" and my friend's boyfriend was like "It's about an entire football team that was killed when a plane crashed."

...

Me: "IT CRASHED ON THE FIELD?!?!?"

"You know, a little orphan girl once told me that the sun would come out tomorrow. Her adopted father was a powerful billionaire, so I supressed the urge to laugh in her face. But now, by gum, I think she might have been on to something!" --Reefer Madness

#1129

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/16/06 at 6:13pm

I was at a failed performance of SUNSET BOULEVARD on the 1st January 1995 when they announced that due to a technical problem the sets would not work. The announcement was " WE GOT GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS. THE GOOD NEWS IS WE GOT GLENN CLOSE, THE BAD NEWS IS WE AINT GOT NO SETS". We were then told the cast had agreed to do a "concert" version of the show which I was determined to stay for as I had already seen PATTI in London. While we were waiting for the "concert" to start the lady next to me with what sounded like a Brooklyn accent said knowledgebly to her friend:

"THEY'LL BE CALLING ALL THE THEATRES AND MARKETS TO GET FURNITURE! ANYTHING BAROQUE WILL DO!"

The show was eventually totally cancelled with no concert but I did laugh thinking of Glenn sitting on a JUNK SHOP settee.

"Your eyes..... they shine like the pants on my blue serge suit"

#1130

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/19/06 at 3:09pm

This was like month ago when I went on a school trip to see "A Chorus Line". We did a workshop with Chryssie Whitehead (Kristine). There is about 35 kids and 4 adults on this trip. About 12 of us go in a "maximum 8 people" elevator, all kids. We were in the lobby waiting for everyone else and this conversation happened with a girl, Victoria, and some random guy that walked in.

(man walks in)
Victoria-Oh my God! Are you on Broadway?
Man-(points down the block) No, Broadway is that way.
Victoria-I mean do you perform on Broadway?
Man-No....You have to stop having all of this fun

It was great.

"Everyone deserves the chance to fly!"

#1131

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/19/06 at 5:51pm

This isn't all that funny, but it was definitely amusing. I was at an Adam Pascal concert last month, front row =D, and the usher who was this cute little old woman comes up to me & my friends and starts asking us "Who is this Adam Pascal? I've never heard of him." And we start telling her that he was the original Roger in Rent, and Radames in Aida.
Her response?
"Oh, I didn't bother seeing either of those. I figured it was a waste of money since I saw La Boheme and Aida the opera."

#1132

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/19/06 at 6:27pm

This didn't happen in New York, but it involves Broadway and it was still kind of amusing.

Old Woman: What are you listening to?
Me: Songs from the Broadway show Evita.
Old Woman: OH! I saw that when it was on Broadway, Madonna was amazing!!
Me: Um, Madonna was in the movie. Patti LuPone played Eva on Broadway.
Old Woman: No, Madonna played her on Broadway AND in the movie. It said so in my Playbill
Me: Oh, okay....

There wouldn't be lights bright enough!

#1133

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/20/06 at 6:12pm

at Company when Raul did his "STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP" thing a woman laughes then says very loudly "oops I coudn't help it"

#1134

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/20/06 at 6:17pm

Not overheard, but I thought this was kind of funny:
My grandmother: Did you see Cats? I saw it and it was just SOOO BEAUTIFUL! I couldn't stop laughing.

"I'm thinking about how if you took the W in answer, and the H in ghost, and the extra A in aardvark, and the T in listen, you could keep saying WHAT but no one would ever hear you because the whole word would be silent." Please support BC/EFA at goodsearch.com! Search for anything, and your charity will get a cent!

#1135

Hilarious Comments... SWEET CHARITY

Posted: 11/20/06 at 8:02pm

During the SWEET CHARITY revival's "Rhythmn of Life", Rhett George plays Big Daddy (for those who haven't seen it... he wears a stereotypical 60s-70s orange Saturday Night Fever suit and huge afro wig) - this is what the people in front of me thought about it...

Old woman: Who is that?
Old man: I think it's supposed to be Michael Jackson...

And if she'll say, "My darling, I'm yours!" I'll throw away my striped tie and my best pressed tweed, all I really need is the girl...

#1136

Hilarious Comments... SWEET CHARITY

Posted: 11/20/06 at 8:07pm

In the ticket holder's line for The Producers:

Man: What are all these kids doing here!? Shouldn't they be in school?

It was 7:30 on a Thursday night.

Also, in the same line:

Teenage Girl 1: Oh look! Tha Phantom of the Opera! It won the Tony you know.
Teenage Girl 2: Oh, do you watch the Tonys?
Teenage Girl 1: Yah. It was up against Mamma Mia and Les Miz.
Teenage Girl 2: What won for best play?
Teenage Girl 1: The Color Purple.
Teenage Girl 2: Wasn't that a musical?
Teenage Girl 1: No.

#1137

Hilarious Comments... SWEET CHARITY

Posted: 11/20/06 at 8:26pm

Hahahaha, for some reason that last one really made me laugh.

I was on 44th and my friend accidently bumped someone while we were trying to get into the line for Les Mis and the guy said under his breath "city so nice they named it twice" And I wanted to groan and hit him.

~~~~~another time:

(Announcement to turn off cell phones)
Lady nearby: Sorry I have to get off the phone now, for some reason I have to turn it off.
((voice on phone))
Lady: yeah of course I'm in the theater. I mean I understand for planes but why in here?
Her husband: the rings might mess up the orchestra, then they would have to stop and start over.

oh my god.

Goshen doesn't do High-School-shows.

#1138

Hilarious Comments... SWEET CHARITY

Posted: 11/23/06 at 12:06am

When I was little, I remember sometimes saying OSCAR and Hammerstein. I did that in my head looking at sheet music today.

I hate how I'm so dumb.

Every living soul has got a voice - you've got to give it room and let it sing.

#1139

Hilarious Comments... SWEET CHARITY

Posted: 11/23/06 at 12:13am

When I saw Gypsy at Ravinia two women brought their teenage daughters to the show with them. The Moms were talking about how they had seen Barbra Streisand in concert.
Girl 1: How could they have seen her in a concert? Isn't she in some play called Funny Girl?
Girl 2: No, that was back in the 1930's.

There wouldn't be lights bright enough!

#1140

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/23/06 at 12:29am

I went to see Spamalot on Sunday, Nov. 19th and you the people in front of me were walking into the Shubert with drinks. The ticket-taker stopped them and they took offense at the fact they weren't allowed into the theatre with their drinks. The guy just pointed them to the nearest garbage can as I breezed by.

"Movies will make you famous; Television will make you rich; But theatre will make you good."--Terrence Mann

"Pretty much...if you've seen any shows that have a jerk boyfriend in that show...I'm that guy."--Richard H. Blake

Diane: Aww, you are such a chick flick. I would totally pay $12 to see you. (Kristin Chenoweth on "Ugly Betty") http://musicalangel12.blogspot.com <-- my blog. Give it a read, please.

#1141

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/24/06 at 12:00pm

My chorus class is made up of the most ignorant women I've ever met. One girl said something along the lines of: "Are Rodgers and Hammerstein related?" I wanted to strangle this girl.

Butters, go buy World of Warcraft, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all murder you. --Cartman: South Park ATTENTION FANS: I will be played by James Barbour in the upcoming musical, "BroadwayWorld: The Musical."

#1142

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/24/06 at 12:11pm

The audiences of my most recent show were pretty lively, but one member stuck out the most.

During a scene where a character is trying to make a crucial decision, a teenage boy practically SCREAMS, "YOU CAN DO IT!!" during a silent moment.

It was all we could do to keep from cracking up.

#1143

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/24/06 at 12:32pm

When I was at The Producers, during intermission, I heard this woman and her daughter talking about Les Mis. The mother (who must have been reading something) said, "Oh wow, it says here that Les Miserables was on Broadway before. That it's revived." The daughter said, "Duhhh, mom, that's why there are all those creepy posters with that girl saying she's back. Because she's back."

I suppose that wasn't necessarily "hilarious." But it made me chuckle a little bit. =]

#1144

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:57am

My teacher's aide from last year saw a thing on the news about Phantom becoming the longest running musical on Broadway. That's the real reason why it was on the news. Here's the reason why she thought it was on the news:

She thought it closed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I believed her. And when I went to rehearsal for Into the Woods later that day, someone told me it had become the longest running musical on Broadway. Boy, was I pissed at her.

#1145

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/25/06 at 2:18pm

My school put on a production of Miss Saigon, and here are a few comments the people behind me kept whispering... I was ushering, and I had to get up and leave I was starting to laugh hysterically by the end:

Woman: So what's this about again?
Man: About the woman who ran Saigon in China.

Woman: So, wait, her arranged marriage husband died?
Man: No no, didn't you see him get up he's alive and is stalking her, that's why he was in her bedroom.
Woman: But they had the lighting I thought it was just a dream.
Man: No.. how can someone be in a dream if they're dead? It was him!

[At the end of the show:]
Man: So, the girls in the beginning, what were they supposed to be?
Woman: I think Geisha's getting dressed...
Man: Oh, ok, I was wondering why they had nothing on...

And when I saw Wicked here in Philadelphia there were these two elderly ladies behind me:

Elderly Lady #1: So, what's this about again?
Elderly Lady #2: It's about witches.
Elderly Lady #1: So it's about the pagean religion?
Elderly Lady #2: Yea, it tells us how it started.

It's not that funny, but I do not know where they got that info...

#1146

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/25/06 at 2:18pm

*Sorry about the double post... don't know how that happened*

Oh, and another one I heard whilst I was at the ANothony Rapp book signing in Philly:

Girl 1: What was he in again?
Girl 2: The musical about the green girl, right?
Girl 1: No no, wrong person, isn't he in the musical about the dying people?
Girl 2: Oh yea! He dies... it's a shame... I'm surprised that he was the cross dresser - he should be the guy that has the camera the whole time...

I sat there with my mouth agape... I walked away, I couldn't even correct them...

Updated On: 11/25/06 at 02:18 PM

#1147

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/25/06 at 4:29pm

At The Wiz @ La Jolla Playhouse last night my friends and I were watching the "Behind the Scenes" video in the lobby, when the Tinman comes on the screen, when an old lady meekly says "Oh, the Tinman...I wonder what he can do." I don't get it.

#1148

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/26/06 at 9:58am

When my friend and I went to the city on nov. 11th we were walking around trying to waste time in between shows and these two girls walk past us and one of them says "My ex boyfriend had HIV but I didn't get it"
I couldn't believe that I had heard it hahaha

http://two-sails.blogspot.com/

#1149

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/26/06 at 10:02am

"My ex boyfriend had HIV but I didn't get it"

When I first read that I thought she meant that she didn't understand what HIV was.

#1150

Hilarious Comments...

Posted: 11/26/06 at 10:05am

wicked4good2, that's terrible. These people seem totally ignorant. They didn't know that this was during the Vietnamese War? Sheesh.

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