Raunchiest Songs in Musical Theatre

[Ado Annie D'Ysquith]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 5:27pm

For some reason, I was thinking about this last night and giggling. What are some of the great bawdy numbers in musicals? Examples:

"Bang!" (Cut from A Little Night Music)

"He Plays the Violin" (1776)

You Can Be As Loud as the Hell You Want (Ave Q)

[YvanEhtNioj]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 5:28pm

"Contact" from Rent 

[DoTheDood]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 5:33pm

"Dead Girl Walking", Heathers. I don't think the lyrics are that bad, but man those stage directions don't hide much. Plus I've heard some productions really push the moaning for the last bit of the song.

Updated On: 4/3/19 at 05:33 PM

[JudyDenmark]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 5:37pm

Joseph Smith American Moses?

Also, “Dallas...I’m Coming!” From Debbie Does Dallas The Musical. Actually, pretty much all of Debbie Does Dallas The Musical, lol.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 5:51pm

Sodomy - Hair
Paris Makes Me Horny - Victor/Victoria
Good-Time Girl - Over Here!
Call Me - Best Little Whorehouse Goes Public
The Tennis Song and Lost and Found - City of Angels
A Call From the Vatican - Nine
Special - Avenue Q
The Internet is for ... - Avenue Q

Updated On: 5/22/19 at 05:51 PM

[henrikegerman]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 6:44pm

Thurio's Samba TWO GENTLEMEN OF VERONA

 

[Someone in a Tree2]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 6:55pm

"I Never Do Anything Twice". (Technically from a film but heard in SIDE BY SIDE BY SONDHEIM.)

It might be the only successful comedy song SS ever wrote about sex (okay, maybe the second after "Bang" re the OP.)

[WhizzerMarvin]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 7:16pm

Everybody’s Girl from Steel Pier

Men and me are like pianos: when they get upright, I feel grand!

[carolinaguy]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 7:41pm

My Girlfriend, Who Lives in Canada

[Rainah]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 7:46pm

YvanEhtNioj said: ""Contact" from Rent"

Id argue that contact is very sexual, but not raunchy - similar to touch me from spring awakening.

However, the b***h of living from spring awakening would fit the bill

[nealb1]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 7:53pm

"Ruprect" from "Dirty Rotten."

[TotallyEffed]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 8:05pm

Rainah said: "YvanEhtNioj said: ""Contact" from Rent"

Id argue that contact is very sexual, but not raunchy - similar to touch me from spring awakening.”

 

This isn’t raunchy?

[GROUP A]
-Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
-Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
-Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
-Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
Please don't stop please
Please don't stop stop
Stop stop stop don't
Please please please please
-Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
-Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
-Sticky-licky-trickle-tickle
-Steamy-creamy-stroking-soaking

[GROUP B]
-Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
-Wet-wet-wet-red-heat

[COLLINS]
Touch

[MAUREEN]
Taste

[MIMI]
Deep!

[COLLINS]
Dark!

[MAUREEN]
Kiss!

[COLLINS]
Beg!

[MIMI]
Slap!

[MIMI, MAUREEN AND COLLINS]
Fear!

[COLLINS]
Thick!

[MIMI, MAUREEN AND COLLINS]
Red, red
Red, red
Red, red - please

[MAUREEN]
Harder

 

[ANGEL]
Faster

[MAUREEN]
Wetter

[MIMI]
Bastard!

[ROGER]
You whore!

[MAUREEN]
You cannibal!

[MIMI AND ANGEL]
More!

[MAUREEN]
You animal!

[MIMI, COLLINS AND MAUREEN]
Fluid no fluid no contact yes
No contact

[ALL]
Fire fire burn-burn yes!
No latex rubber rubber
Fire latex rubber latex bummer
Lover bummer

 

[ggersten]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 9:21pm

The title is Raunchy from 110 in the Shade, but it's not really

Updated On: 4/4/19 at 09:21 PM

[poisonivy2]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 9:36pm

I think "I Can't Say No" from Oklahoma! is pretty raunchy. 

[TheGingerBreadMan]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 10:33pm

Please Don’t Touch Me from Young Frankenstein

[davp]

Posted: 4/3/19 at 11:23pm

The Heat is On in Saigon from Miss Saigon has some pretty raunchy lines.

 

 

[A Director]

Posted: 4/4/19 at 2:51am

Here are the lyrics for "But In The Morning, No" by Cole Porter Du Barry Was  Lady (1939)  Notice the line, "Do you do double entry, dear?"

https://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/b/butinthemorningno.html

[VivianDarkbloom2]

Posted: 4/4/19 at 8:38am

Good call on Cole Porter. Kiss Me Kate has a few winners, not straight up raunch but very edgy innuendo for its time.
Brush Up Your Shakespeare: “If your baby is pleading for pleasure, let her sample your measure for measure; if she says she won’t buy it or TIKE it, let her ‘tike’ it, what’s more, As You Like It!”(that wasn’t in the current revival, though.) “If she says your behavior is heinous, kick her right in the Coriolanus!”
Where is the Life That Late I Led: “And lovely Lisa, where are you, Lisa? You gave a new meaning to the Leaning Tower of Pisa.”
“Grease” isn’t terribly raunchy but has a few lines that should make anyone think twice before letting middle schoolers perform the songs. (My summer camp ran into this problem when I was 12 or so.) “Greased Lightning”, anyone?
Also, “Garlic” from “Dance of the Vampires” needs some kind of award for awkward raunch.

[magictodo123]

Posted: 4/4/19 at 8:46am

Off the top of my head...My Unfortunate Erection from Spelling Bee?

[RaisedOnMusicals]

Posted: 4/4/19 at 8:56am

Someone in a Tree2 said: ""I Never Do Anything Twice". (Technically from a film but heard in SIDE BY SIDE BY SONDHEIM.)

It might be the only successful comedy song SS ever wrote about sex (okay, maybe the second after "Bang" re the OP.)"

I suggest that "The Miller's Son" from ALNM is about as raunchy as it gets: Excerpts:

It's a wink and a wiggle and a giggle in the grass
And I'll trip the light fandango,
A pinch and a diddle in the middle of what passes by.
It's a very short road
From the pinch and the punch
To the paunch and the pouch
And the pension.

It's a push and a fumble and a tumble in the sheets
And I'll foot the highland fancy,

There are mouths to be kissed
Before mouths to be fed,
And there's many a tryst
And there's many a bed
To be sampled and seen
In the meanwhile.And a girl has to celebrate what passes by.

It's a rip in the bustle and a rustle in the hay
And I'll pitch the quick fantastic,
With flings of confetti and my petticoats away up high.
It's a very short way
From the fling that's for fun
To the thigh pressing un-
Der the table.
It's a very short day
Till you're stuck with just one
Or it has to be done
On the sly.

 

 

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/4/19 at 1:10pm

Bring on the Men from Jekyll and Hyde

Anything for Oh!  Calcutta!

[Kitsune]

Posted: 4/4/19 at 1:13pm

More strong innuendo than raunchy, but I'd add "Push Da Button" from The Color Purple to this list.

[schmoe]

Posted: 4/4/19 at 1:39pm

Hasa Diga from Book of Mormon

[EdEval]

Posted: 4/4/19 at 2:00pm

"Tom, Dick, and Harry"  from Kiss Me Kate,  especially when they repeat the word, "dick" over and over that becomes a bit risque to all the dirty minds out there."  A diga dick, a diga dick, etc.

[DiscoCrows]

Posted: 4/4/19 at 2:41pm

“Changing my Major” from Fun Home.